January 8, 2017 at 4:57 pm #124876
This book was recommended by my boyfriend (who has started reading it), via his father (who has read it). Im halfway through the first chapter and it's really rubbing me the wrong way. The fundamental ideas are good and ones I've subscribed to for most of my adult life, but the writing is very macho, there is lots of swearing that seems unnecessary and over the top, and the examples are so one sided and extreme I find it hard to take his points as constructive without feeling like he is leaving out a critical full half of the story. A full half. The reviews on Google, Amazon etc are 4-5, but that's across a very broad community. I'm wondering what people with a Buddhist-ish philosophy think about this book. Has anyone else read this book, and do you think it is a valuable read worth finishing? My first impression is that it wants to make me happier by being a less aware and considerate person.
Many thanks for your comments,
KivaJanuary 9, 2017 at 3:51 am #124911
I haven't read the book but I have read Mark's articles. The basic points are indeed good but the use of the f word after every sentence wasn't something I enjoyed.
Essentially what he says is – Know what's important to you, stop going after the nonsense to please others, expect life to beat you to the ground anyway.
It reminded me a bit of Rocky Balboa's speech to his kid minus the expletives and some more positive commentary about ones own inner resources.
Essentially what Mark advocates is being more considerate of the important things in life, the ones that actually matter to “you”. As my mom used to say, albeit bluntly when I was a teen, stop complicating your own life by inviting more nonsense thinking 😛 (sighs, still working on that)
Mason's ideas are nothing new, the only new thing is that he doesn't sugar coat it that hard and kinda irritates one too with the whole glorified language, slightly over the top talk.
Frankly the best self help book I have ever read isn't a self help book. It was Victor Frankls “Man's search for meaning” – it made me see just how formidably strong people can be in the most barbaric situations. Then Marc and Angels blog is good as well. Simple, real and not a pretentious pile of positivity or negativity crap “excuse the vocabulary”
Have you read more of his book so far?
PS : I am not a Buddhist or Buddhist-ish but religion, spirituality is an area of interest.
NinaJanuary 9, 2017 at 11:46 am #124946
I haven’t read the book but from Goodreads description I’m not seeing any new idea’s.
For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. “F**k positivity,” Mark Manson says. “Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it.” In his wildly popular Internet blog, Mason doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.
Personally I don’t know what “telling it like it is” actually means other than that it gives permission to use poor language and be crass. I’m swearing and being rude so I must be “telling it like it is” and because I’m telling it like it is what I’m saying must be true… and worth listening to…
The writer has a issue with coddling and the think positive movement which leaning to a tendency of being a ‘defensive pessimist’ I might agree with however my experience those that ‘tell it like it is’ is that it tends to be one-sided, ether or, and I believe there is a time for all things. The question becomes one of discernment, which it seems is how the author also ends his rant.
So maybe it’s a generational thing. I don’t think swearing is necessary, and though it might get our attention it also distracts
I don’t know there are lots of books on the subject he talking about
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff … and it's all small stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking over Your Life – by Richard Carlson
I liked The Positive Power Of Negative Thinking – by Julie Noremm
For many people, positive thinking is an ineffective strategy–and often an obstacle–for successfully coping with the anxieties and pressures of modern life. For example when I am giving a problem , my first thoughts are on what could go wrong and then what I need to do in order to ensure those things don’t happen. This process may seem (and is seen by many) to be negative but it’s not. It’s just a process and when followed I’m very optimistic that I will solve the problem. But tell me to not worry about what might go wrong and just believe that all will work itself out and well I’m going to become stressed. That said for other areas in my life, for example travel, I’m a strategic optimist.
You don't want a strategic optimist building your home but you also don't want a defensive pessimist selling it.
I would also recommend Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain.