Hi BellyButton,

I think two things have to happen here:

1. He has to fully “Get” what happened, what he did (didn’t do) and how it made you feel

2. He has to completely apologize and treat you like a queen. You want him to make up for it!

He hurt your pride. That’s all. You want reassurance that you are loved and adored. You hated his attitude. You wanted to be pursued and his face light up when he saw you.

Unless he had said something really hurtful, I would chalk it up to past immaturity. The problem is, you want a fairy tale to tell about when you look back on your relationship. No one wants to say, “Well, kids, dad basically ignored me. But later he came to his senses and I pretended to be swept off my feet.”

The question is: How does he treat you now?

Can you say: “Honey, I want a do-over. Hi. I’m BellyButton. What’s your name? Oh, flowers! How nice.” Revisionist History!

Before you tackle the challenge of loving this dude, maybe you could try to be a little nicer to yourself. “I wish I could erase these feelings”? Would you go around erasing other people’s feelings? This is emotionally violent towards yourself. You feel how you feel. As long as you’re telling yourself how you should be feeling instead of dealing honestly with the feelings you have, your feelings will continue to undermine and sabotage you. And why would they not? You’re at war with them.