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I would like help to find the words to say…

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • #118332
    PryingMiMi
    Participant

    My ex broke up with me 10months ago after dating for nine months. During the breakup I started becoming very sick and have been up until now. He just contacted me out of the blue a month and a half ago. He followed me on Google plus which is something I rarely go on, but received the notification of it. He texted me as well and I ignored it. Then, he called from a different number and I picked up, not knowing it was him. I told him i hope all was well and told him i needed to get off the phone, but he allegedly wanted to check up on me– i never told him about my current situation or what was going on in my life and quickly got off the phone. Ever since, hes been randomly texting me and saying inappropriate things, like randomly asking what Im wearing or saying rude things which seemed odd considering that was not a tone he never took with me. I’ve changed a lot since our breakup mainly due to being sick and so on, and dont have the energy to go back and forth with him and don’t want to. A few days ago i said to him to please not send me things like that anymore and that its mean and hurtful and he just said sorry. It’s hurtful to have these things come from him, especially because he wasnt being this way to me before. I dont want any conflict; i just want to know a way to tell i dont want to hear from again because he keeps being hurtful

    #118352
    Peter
    Participant

    For some reason this is a very common experience in relationship break ups
    The person that initiates the break up attempts to keep the light on just in case, a subconscious back up plan.

    To avoid the cycle relationship and create enough space for you to move on. You must be firm and Tell him to no longer contact you. No other words are required

    If you soften your request in anyway with explanations and or justifications you open the door for continued communication.

    If you intention is to break off contact you can’t leave openings of any kind as anything you say other than for him to stop contacting you is a opening

    #118354
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi PryingMiMi,

    The best way to say “Don’t contact me” is not to reply ~ ever. Because let’s say he calls/texts 40 times and you respond on the 41st/ time he’ll know all he has to do is spam you until he gets a response. If you see a communication is from him, don’t even check to see what he said as some apps/sites/etc. show him if you’ve read it.

    And no more answering strange numbers.

    Pretty soon he’ll feel ridiculous even to himself.

    I speak from experience.

    Good Luck!

    Inky

    #118360
    Adam P
    Participant

    Yes along with no contact, your ego will become more and more restless wanting to get in contact with your ex. As well your ego will want you to go no contact wanting to hurt/punish or seek revenge against your ex. The important thing to remember is to go no contact to better improve your well being and life. It will be difficult at first but in time the negative feelings will pass and life will improve with you getting better.
    Thank you and take care
    -AP85

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