i don’t like dancing in front of people, but i like to dance to music when i’m alone and dance out in the beauty of nature. i really enjoy this forum and it is like “Home” to me. when i feel sad or insecure, just posting my thoughts helps me and you give great advice. i think i am forgiving that part of me that sees the world and myself in a negative light and letting it go. i’m not going to let the negative perceptions of some people bring me down. i find that my positive thoughts help a lot and they help me be free, that is the part i like about dancing, the wings of my soul being lifted with the music of life and it is also a great workout. while dancing, i only hear the music and i am free of the negative inner bullies and worldly critics. i have become more confident of my body and i realize that i was always perfect the way i was, i just worried a lot about my weight and it just brought more negative views, but i’m more confident now. I am reading a book called “From Panic to Power” by Linda Bassett and it has helped me. in her book she describes her social anxiety of being judged by people and afraid of things b/c she didn’t want to be hurt and i felt like i could connect with her. she has a cool technique that i like called the ‘So-What?’ method. let’s say your inner bully says “People will judge me. I must be perfect. What if I fail and people hate me?” you should say “So what if people judge you. As long as you are doing your best, you are okay. So what if you fail, you can learn from your mistakes. So what if you’re not perfect, you will never be perfect if you give in to every expectation of others and lose yourself. It’s no big deal, just be yourself.” I like this method b/c sometimes when i’m around people, i think they are judging me and my inner bully will be like “look at that girl over there, she is much skinnier and prettier than you, look at how others see you.”, i will be like “So what if I’m not like her? I am healthy and smart. I have my talents. So what if others are mean to me. It doesn’t matter as long as I believe in myself.” Also there is another method that i like called the ‘Humor’ method. this method is like this you inner bully says “There’s too many people. They’re all looking at me. what if i freak out and do something wrong? what if a guy/girl looks at me and thinks i’m not a good person?” using humor, i am going to imagine myself being at the center of attention and becoming a clown in front of everyone. i’m going to imagine myself being a clown and dancing in big clown shoes and having a rudolph the reindeer nose. i am going to imagine myself tripping and making mistakes in my clown shoes as i smile a goofy clown smile. i am going to believe that i can be myself with my mistakes like the clown and it doesn’t matter what others think of me.

these images and examples were inspired by the book and they are mine, i think they are quite entertaining. when someone tells me that i am weak or not pretty or skinny enough, i don’t believe them, i imagine myself as a gymnast or dancer and being perfect. i say to myself “i am an earth angel. i am a healthy dancer.”