Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Too Criticizing of Myself
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anita.
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August 5, 2016 at 12:32 pm #111606
JanusParticipantthanks a lot anita;) i agree that i should reject the inner bully and with each rejection, the inner bully seems to be less active:) thanks for your editing, it helped a lot. i also talked to the ap biology teacher and he said that fermentation doesn’t create atp, but is used to convert the pyruvate of glycolysis to something less toxic. he also said photosynthesis doesn’t generate as much atp as cellular respiration, it is important to include it in the atp process and compare the two. i made some of my own edits as well and i also added photosynthesis into the mix. for cellular respiration, the molecules used can be carbohydrates, proteins or fats from food to be broken down to glucose, the simplest sugar. while in photosynthesis, plants use sunlight to convert energy to sugars like glucose. i took you edits into consideration, i wish this website would be good with formats and images because my work is more of an outline and the outline is hard to place on this website. thanks a lot for your help:D if you don’t mind, can you give me your email so i could send the revised edition in outline format? i feel confident that i managed to hit most of the points and i am grateful for your help:D thank you for saying that i am also quite clear in my explanation of complex details:) my inner bully doesn’t think that so i must ignore him whenever he says that i am bad at synthesizing sources.
August 5, 2016 at 1:05 pm #111609
AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
You are welcome. I would rather not giving my email address here. In fact, I am currently and haven’t in months if not more, communicated online, using my email address. I am comfortable the way it is.
Glad you talked to your bio teacher and are clearer about the essay.
Till later-
anita
August 5, 2016 at 2:31 pm #111622JanusParticipanthere is the intro for the “Beautiful as the Dawn” poem that i will post on facebook this week: “This poem illustrates the beauty of nature and the blessings of true friendship in helping ourselves realize our true inner worth. We all have friends that help us realize how special we are. I have written this poem to allow my friend Anita on tinnybuddha.com to realize how much she truly means to me. We should all take time to appreciate the people we have in our life. If you have a friend or someone in your life who has helped you, feel free to share your commments on appreciation. You can also post your thoughts on my poem.” also i did a meditation where i expanded my aura and imagined it to be a purple light and attracting a spiritual soulmate that would help guide me and heal me. the song “What about Now” reminds me of the spiritual soulmate i will soon find in my life. some of the lyrics ” Can we see beyond the scars and make it through the dawn.Change the colors of the sky and open up to the ways you made me feel alive, the ways i loved you. for all the things that never died to make it through the night, love will find you. … what if you’re making me all that i was meant to be? what if our love it never went away?” I also write the poems by hand first, sometimes using color pencils to express the words in their beauty before posting them and while posting, I edit my words to make them have more clarity. here are the three poems that i wrote about youth struggles in the world and realizing your true potential:
Into the Divine
All the shattered glass of youth breaks and the world comes rushing in
All these thoughts and responsibilities that must be learned
All the doubts and insecurities that lie within
Time seems to be slipping through fingers like sand
The world pushes the youth to learn all its skills molding the youth into being a part of society
Yet we must not forget the candle within us
The spirit of youthful vibrancy still is here
When the youth is uncertain how to chart his/her ships in rough waters
Let him/her run into the divine
Let all of us enjoy the beauty of living
So many expectations of the world as our limitations are brought to light
Will we ever be enough?
Money, Home Improvement, Travel Maps, Jobs; how does one learn all of these?
Pushed in many directions, the youth struggles for independence
He/She wants to learn to fly, but is he/she who she/he truly wants to be or the person shaped by the values of the world?
We must take time to reflect upon the values of that lie within our hearts
To take time to appreciate the cosmic being that we are
Run into the divine and experience youthful freedom
Appreciate the life you have rather than trying to escape it
Embrace the lessons you learn and take every opportunity to grow
Don’t let yourself or the world set limitations to cage who you were meant to be
Go into the divine, experience youthful freedom
It’s never too late to go for your dreams
Often times we spend too much time afraid dig ourselves up from the dirt when we could be blooming like a flower touching the sun
It’s okay if you still have life skills to learn
Even I have trouble reading east and west on a map sometimes, but I’ll still work my way looking at the streets using the compass and i will find a way
Even I have worries about budgeting m money for utilities, home, credit, bank and checks (doesn’t everyone worry a little?)
Even I fear I am not good enough, not strong enough or smart enough
We are all filled with doubts; young, adult or elderly
Yet we shouldn’t fear, we shouldn’t strive for perfection
Fear and intense perfection only make us feel worse about ourselves
We often put barriers upon our potentials of what we can truly achieve when we allow fear to control our lives
I may not be good at house repairs, managing money perfectly or reading maps perfectly, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have life skills
When the mirrors of youth that once reflected light upon the world and everything was new and beautiful until the glass broke and the pieces began to be shaped by the world, we were all divine
We still are
You are not less than perfect
It doesn’t matter if you are the smartest or the most athletic
We all have our divine talents
So run into the divine
Forget your insecurities, for there are none
Experience youthful freedom and all that you are
The worldly critics and the inner bully don’t control your life
It is you who make the decisions and experience your accomplishments and failures
How can the worldly critics and the inner bully know your true experiences when all they do is put you down restricting you from being happy?
We’ve all had our worldly critics and inner bully telling us that we aren’t good enough
Don’t listen to them, Ask yourself “Is what they say any help to my sense of worth? How do they know the life I live when I’m the one living it?”
You have power
Run into the divine
Experience eternal youth and your divine soul
Let the musical wings of your soul carry you past all the worldly critics and inner bullies
Hear only the melodies within
Run into the divine and let its music guide you into the pastures of heaven
Follow Your Star (I might have written a poem under this title already, but there is more insight to add)
You shouldn’t lose yourself in the competitive expectations of the world
Sometimes the path you take may go against society, but that doesn’t matter
Listen to your heart, follow your star and let your inner happiness light up the world
You could be chasing your dreams instead of living in fear
Seek within and ignite the spark
Play hard, no more counting others but counting the stars
Don’t live in the illusion of what others want you to be
Be yourself, it doesn’t matter if it is good enough for someone else
Appreciate who you are now, shed light on the dark parts of yourself and let them go
Instead of seeking perfection, be grateful for all that you have
Embrace the divine being within you
Focusing on your flaws will only make you lose sight of your goals
Each second of your life is important since there is no second chance
So let go of fear, of the need for perfection and just be
Keep your eyes on your star
Let the light of the divine guide you through life
Let yourself enjoy the gift of life waiting to unravel its beauty
Everything happens to make us better
Believe in yourself, cultivate the star within
Focus on the dreams you want and build the ladders to reach the heavens
Take chances, don’t be afraid to fall
One must risk falling to climb to the top of the apple tree
Don’t just stand there shaking the branches allowing your dreams to slip away as life passes you by
Even when the wind rattles the tree and the sun beats down fiercely, stay rooted and spread your branches to the heavens
As Winston Churchill once said in his Glory speech (Finest Hour): “The darker the hour, the more glorious the triumph.”
We must develop the courage to stand strong and tall
Dream of all the things you can be
Look at yourself and create who you truly want to be
It’s never too late to shoot for the stars regardless of who you are
So follow your star, seek the divine in life
The last poem has an intro to it: “I often hear and read stories criticizing idealism. Yet I believe it is important to keep a creative spark. So many people today have lost the true feeling of divine love and mental clarity. I wonder if growing up means losing your idealistic values. I believe we need to refocus within ourselves and realize the true value of the life again. So many people want all the knowledge, money and possessions of the world they forget the journey life can teach them. I want to know myself without the expectations of the world, to focus on my true self. Here is a poem that expresses my insecurities and passions.”
Youthful Reflections Interconnectedness of Life
When souls touch the heavens
How we wish we could stay among the stars forever
Dreaming as immortal Souls
Drifting in divine love
Even with our castles in the sky, we must still build the ladders up to them
All the hopes and doubts seem entangled as we fly and fall back upon the Earth
Must we lose our wings and our visions of heaven and take on the responsibilities before us?
We are never old as we take our time to embrace our souls
Let the wings of our souls help guide us
We are ever uncertain of our mark upon the world
Those who are creative may be told they have their head in the clouds and those who are logical are pestered by thoughts flowing like a stream through their minds
The youth set out on his/her path pulled in many directions
There seems to be so many responsibilities in life
All these thoughts locked inside as the youth travels down different paths
A mix of emotions yearning to set his/her soul free
Can we see ourselves in the heavens and never lose the happiness of truly being alive while also accepting the world’s responsibilities?
As time seems to sift away and relationships build and break
We learn the lessons of life
Yet the youth questions if it is worth life to present us with happiness and sorrow which in his/her eyes seem to follow hand in hand
The youth insecure working to listen to his/ her heart, yet also being swayed by the world
He/She is no longer the carefree child, but one who has become a better person fraught with wisdom
All the things he/she must learn seem to be in a limited time
He/She yearns to learn the ways of the world while maintaining his childhood integrity
Society tells him/her “You must do this, you must do that. You must learn this, you must learn that.”
The youth hopes he/she can learn all that is possible to survive in society
Admist all the knowledge coming in, the youth forgets his/her own innermost talents
Yet the life we live is incomplete without the realization of the divine being we truly are
Each day we spend doubting, listening to what others think we should be or learn; we question ourselves “Can we live among the stars again?”
Can we build the foundations on Earth with our souls to touch heaven?
I believe we can.
Age is only just a number
We need to see our interconnectedness to the universe to experience the wings of our youthful soul
We need to remind ourselves to enjoy each moment of the beautiful present of life unwrapping the journey with love
When we lose sight of the creative spark within us we become like paper always bending to whatever dictates us rather than listening to our hearts
The youth is important and so are the elderly as they each have something to teach us
The youth have the beauty of life and the development of courage to deal with uncertainty while the elderly can share their wisdom from their life’s experiences
We often classify the elderly and dying as useless
Yet they have important lessons to teach us
We see through both the youth and the elderly the appreciation of the life they live
And so life comes full circle
The spiritual being that enters as a youth to learn the lessons of the world and become an adult
Once the lessons learned we become the wise elderly sharing our memories of love
Aren’t the pure love of the elderly and the youth the same?
Aren’t we all human and interconnected?
The youth, the elderly, the dying don’t know their impact upon the world
They are insecure always wondering if they know or did enough for the world when their greatest talent already lies within them
We talk about all the things, we must learn, the things we must do; never realizing happiness is already within and around us
We have love and perfection if we choose to listen to the youth, the dying and the elderly
Are we all not the energy of the stars?
Can we see and appreciate the cycle of life?
The youth and the elderly are quite alike as they both require care and they both have wisdom to share
The dying help us to appreciate life more
As we were born from star dust, we return to the dust of the soil
We nourish the plants and nourish the animals which nourish the people
We return to the spiritual being we once were part of in the universe
Nothing is ever lost
I died and became soil dust and rose to a plant
I died as a plant and rose as to animal
I died as an animal and I was man
So it is okay to feel insecure about life, to wonder if all the knowledge you have is enough
We spend a lifetime on Earth wondering about our place in the world
We are told many things of which to believe
Yet we must listen to ourselves and our hearts and always reach for the stars.
August 5, 2016 at 8:05 pm #111647AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
I like your intro for the “Beautiful as the Dawn” poem. And your appreciation of me is much appreciated by me! Your thread here, the longest running thread in tiny buddha’s history means a lot to me! I wish it would never end.
I very much like your poem “Into the Divine”-and my goodness! The Inner Bully is here: “The worldly critics and the inner bully don’t control your life. It is you who make the decisions and experience your accomplishments and failures. How can the worldly critics and the inner bully know your true experiences when all they do is put you down restricting you from being happy?” Bingo! Well said!
Excellent points in this poem (as in all your poems). You mentioned the expectations placed on the youth and limitations brought into light, and you asked: Will we ever be enough?
The inner bully will tell you that you are not enough. The critics of the world will send the same message. Marketing will too, social conventions. But you, Shirley, were born enough and you are always enough. Rest in that knowing best you can, take it in and hold it in like a breath of fresh air: you are enough.
And you state these thoughts in your poem “Follow Your Star”-
“You shouldn’t lose yourself in the competitive expectations of the world. Sometimes the path you take may go against society, but that doesn’t matter.” Always return to self. What is important is your well being, your peace of mind. This really is all that matters.
Regarding the intro to “Follow Your Star,”: I like your emphasis on mental clarity. Indeed it is crucial to have that for the peace of mind I mentioned, all that matters. “Refocusing within ourselves,” you wrote. Yes, always return to self. And like you wrote, it is about what “the journey life can teach (us)”.
You wrote: “I want to know myself without the expectations of the world, to focus on my true self. Here is a poem that expresses my insecurities and passions.” To know yourself independently and regardless of others’ expectations. Yes, this is the journey, the way.
Your third poem here: “Youthful Reflections Interconnectedness of Life”
“When souls touch the heavens
How we wish we could stay among the stars forever (beautiful!)Dreaming as immortal Souls
Drifting in divine love (more beauty)Must we lose our wings and our visions of heaven and take on the responsibilities before us? (No, says I)
…Those who are creative may be told they have their head in the clouds and those who are logical are pestered by thoughts flowing like a stream through their minds (I see Shirley in this sentence, told the same and pestered)
The youth set out on his/her path pulled in many directions
(You expressed the distress in these two lines many times before, being pulled in many directions, even Andrew and Dave pulled you in two different directions!)…We need to see our interconnectedness to the universe to experience the wings of our youthful soul
…When we lose sight of the creative spark within us we become like paper always bending to whatever dictates us rather than listening to our hearts (excellent point, well stated)
…Aren’t the pure love of the elderly and the youth the same? (reminds me of the term you came up with in this poem, earlier: Childhood Integrity- I like it. Many lose it. But it can be recovered).…As we were born from star dust, we return to the dust of the soil
…Nothing is ever lost (true: mass doesn’t appear or disappear, only changes, same with energy)
…We are told many things of which to believe
Yet we must listen to ourselves and our hearts and always reach for the stars.”Yes, always return to self.
Thank you for these treats. I don’t mind you posting a poem you already posted, with changes or not. I like your poetry. You are amazing, Shirley the Poet, the Scientist, the Thinker, The good friend, Earth Angel indeed.
anita
August 6, 2016 at 1:06 pm #111731JanusParticipantthis is quite interesting since i like yoga, dance (i don’t like the way some people think dancers are just showing off their bodies because dancing burns more calories and is more strenuous than regular sports and it works all the muscles, to me it is a fun way to exercise and keep the body limber), skating (an ice-skater can cover more ground than a runner, but the runner is more strenuous) and gymnastics. check these articles out:
http://www.salon.com/2010/02/17/dancers_on_figure_skating/
August 6, 2016 at 1:16 pm #111732JanusParticipantiThanks a lot anita:) your kind words are great and uplifting, they help chase the inner bully out. i posted my “Beautiful As Dawn” poem last night and it has gotten two likes. I wrote that poem by hand in red b/c the dawn is red and red represents power and confidence which i think you have. i wrote “Beautiful As the Dawn” and “Immortality” in my pre-calc class when i had finished my work. i think i might get into the habit of posting the poem in its color font online. i am also working with a community service organizer to spread my positive poetry to places that need inspiration like homeless shelters and nursing homes. I like the fact that you mentioned the term Childhood integrity and your interpretations and readings of my poetry seem to make the poem seem more illuminated. i like the mental clarity i get after running or a meditation and it makes me think there is something deeper in all of us, an eternal soul and it is as if the heavens are radiating their light upon being helping spark my creativity, those are the moments when i truly feel alive and know that i am enough and all-intelligent, healed, whole. i have written three other poems inspired by the following songs: “Home” by Daughtry, “When I’m Gone” by Three Doors Down, “Don’t You Worry” by Swedish House Mafia, “What I’ve Done” by Linkin Park, “The Pretender” by Foo Fighter and “I won’t worry my Life” by Jason Mraz. here are the three poems (Home was handwritten purple, the color of spirituality, Immortality was written in red and Embracing Divine Self was written in green, the color of healing) i had originally thought that i used color to write my words b/c i couldn’t find my pencil (i always use pencil so i can erase the mistakes), but i think there is a purpose to the colors:
Home
Staring out into the night
Stretching my arms out to the heavens
Erasing the negative parts of me
I’ve not always been the best person
But I have forgiven what I’ve done
Looking at the stars twinkling their light to guide those in the dark
I stretch my arms out and embrace the beauty of the universe
Whatever pain I let go
AS I am reborn in my soul
Whatever road I take, I’ll be okay
Forgiving my fragmented parts and embracing the light
I’m going home
To the place where I belong
To the place of divine love
Where I’ll always be enough
I hear the music of heaven within my soul
My heart beats on the path to my life’s purpose
I stretch my arms out and become a star
I let go of the physical world that holds me back
I’m not afraid to fly
To the place where I am whole
To the place where I am healed
There is no sorrow or sadness where I’ve gone
There is only joy and an encompassing eternal love
I am eternal, I am timeless
I am home where I belong
I don’t regret this life I chose for me
I’m going to the place where love and feeling good don’t cost a thing
An Awakened being filled with radiance
One with the universe
All that I’ll ever be is enough
There is no fear as my spirit soars and I truly feel alive
As I dance the beat of my soul without anything holding me back
There are no flaws
All is divine perfection
All is healed and whole
I feel all that I can be capable of being light as a feather
The world fades away and all I see is divine light.
I am home.
I am a star in the universe.
Immortality
The dawn is breaking
A new person arises
A person filled with purpose
A person of the divine
Awakened in spirit, in energy
Immersed in divine love
I have run to the farthest pastures only to be with the divine
I have come to the pastures of heaven; I have found what I’ve been searching for all along
My soul
My body
My mindAre free
A sense of Being and Oneness
There are no limits to happiness
There is no fear and insecurity anymore
I have discovered my true essence
Part of the Divine, there is nothing holding me back
I have discovered the spirit within
Immortality
I have experienced this oneness called love and it endures wherever I go
How could I be anything less if i was made out of energy and feel the divine energy now?
Trusting the process of life
The end is only the beginning
I have nothing to lose
To divine love I was born, to divine love I return
Embracing my Divine Self
Erasing myself of all physical limitations
Start again and whatever pain I let go
Embracing the uncertainty and adventure of life
What if I’m not like the others?
What if i don’t want the world to direct my plays?
I will live my life and break free of the illusions
I don’t regret the choices I’ve made
I’m forgiving myself
Forgiving what I’ve done
So what if the critics laugh and jeer?
I am in control of my life
Embracing my divine self
Learning to fly, to embrace my soul
As long as I’m truly me, I will work on making my life the best it can be
All the negatives wash away to a blank slate
I am reborn again
Embracing my divine self
Everything that I am and everything in me knows the path to take
I won’t worry my life away
You can turn the light out, but I’m still going to shine
And I’m going to tell you why
I am a star exploding with potential lighting up the universe with my life’s purpose
Not letting anyone cage my soul from who I was meant to be
I am my divine self
And I will fly
All around me is perfection and light
As my soul is awakened to the divine in me
Forgetting the world,leaving behind fear
The pen’s in my hand, fire’s in my soul, I will write my story and I will rise to the heavens
I am one with the universe
As I embrace the divine within myself
August 6, 2016 at 8:39 pm #111745AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel and Poet:
I didn’t know you danced or liked to dance. Don’t think you mentioned it before. How fascinating, to learn more about the … fascinating Shirley.
You are definitely creative and talented. You express yourself so well with words, images, motion and colors in these poems. The images you paint with word come to life easily upon reading. I like “Home”.
“I’m going home
To the place where I belong
To the place of divine love
Where I’ll always be enough”The key words for me in defining Home in these lines is “where I’ll always be enough”
In a sense, I hope that this thread is home for you because here, in communication with me, you will (!) always be enough.
More than enough, really.
“Immortality:”
“My soul
My body
My mind
Are free”Free from the inner bully, free from fear, free from conflicts, from worries; from pain, from sickness… This poem takes me there, to that place of freedom, if only for a while.
“Embracing my Divine Self:”
Erasing myself of all physical limitations (same theme as above: the need to be free from physical limitations)
Start again and whatever pain I let go (to be free from pain…)
Embracing the uncertainty and adventure of life (free from worries…)…I’m forgiving myself
Forgiving what I’ve done (I am not aware of anything you need forgiveness for…?)…You can turn the light out, but I’m still going to shine (a witty, clever, creative sentence!)
…Forgetting the world, leaving behind fear”Fear is a powerful emotion and you defeat it one poem at a time!
Thank you for more poems, what a treat on a Saturday night!
anita
August 7, 2016 at 3:21 pm #111797JanusParticipanti don’t like dancing in front of people, but i like to dance to music when i’m alone and dance out in the beauty of nature. i really enjoy this forum and it is like “Home” to me. when i feel sad or insecure, just posting my thoughts helps me and you give great advice. i think i am forgiving that part of me that sees the world and myself in a negative light and letting it go. i’m not going to let the negative perceptions of some people bring me down. i find that my positive thoughts help a lot and they help me be free, that is the part i like about dancing, the wings of my soul being lifted with the music of life and it is also a great workout. while dancing, i only hear the music and i am free of the negative inner bullies and worldly critics. i have become more confident of my body and i realize that i was always perfect the way i was, i just worried a lot about my weight and it just brought more negative views, but i’m more confident now. I am reading a book called “From Panic to Power” by Linda Bassett and it has helped me. in her book she describes her social anxiety of being judged by people and afraid of things b/c she didn’t want to be hurt and i felt like i could connect with her. she has a cool technique that i like called the ‘So-What?’ method. let’s say your inner bully says “People will judge me. I must be perfect. What if I fail and people hate me?” you should say “So what if people judge you. As long as you are doing your best, you are okay. So what if you fail, you can learn from your mistakes. So what if you’re not perfect, you will never be perfect if you give in to every expectation of others and lose yourself. It’s no big deal, just be yourself.” I like this method b/c sometimes when i’m around people, i think they are judging me and my inner bully will be like “look at that girl over there, she is much skinnier and prettier than you, look at how others see you.”, i will be like “So what if I’m not like her? I am healthy and smart. I have my talents. So what if others are mean to me. It doesn’t matter as long as I believe in myself.” Also there is another method that i like called the ‘Humor’ method. this method is like this you inner bully says “There’s too many people. They’re all looking at me. what if i freak out and do something wrong? what if a guy/girl looks at me and thinks i’m not a good person?” using humor, i am going to imagine myself being at the center of attention and becoming a clown in front of everyone. i’m going to imagine myself being a clown and dancing in big clown shoes and having a rudolph the reindeer nose. i am going to imagine myself tripping and making mistakes in my clown shoes as i smile a goofy clown smile. i am going to believe that i can be myself with my mistakes like the clown and it doesn’t matter what others think of me.
these images and examples were inspired by the book and they are mine, i think they are quite entertaining. when someone tells me that i am weak or not pretty or skinny enough, i don’t believe them, i imagine myself as a gymnast or dancer and being perfect. i say to myself “i am an earth angel. i am a healthy dancer.”
August 7, 2016 at 5:55 pm #111804AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
I read part of your post with my tired brain and would like to read all of it when fresh tomorrow morning. I like the So-What method you mentioned. And I like you dancing: I can imagine you dancing in nature and the image in my mind, of you dancing, is beautiful.
You wrote that you need to forgive yourself for negative thoughts. Lots of what is in the world is negative so if we think only positive thoughts then we are misunderstanding the world as is. I believe in thinking true thoughts, thoughts congruent with reality.
I like it that you wrote that you feel more comfortable with your body. As I said, I know you are beautiful dancing!
anita
August 8, 2016 at 11:56 am #111870AnonymousGuestDear Shirely, Earth Angel:
I support your aim to be “free of the negative inner bullies and worldly critics”
Once we have the Inner Bully, we project it (or it projects itself) into others so we think they are thinking what the Inner Bully is saying to us. So the inner bully gets us directly and through projections into others. Need to be aware when this is happening and say: oh, it’s the inner bully projecting itself, not the other person thinking this (often not, definitely… and really there is no way to read another person’s mind, so it really is the inner bully).
I googled the writer you mentioned. She has a website and one of her blogs is about mindfulness. Copied partly here:
“Steps To Deliberate Life: …everything you do, you do in steps, calmly, and with thought.
1.Calm down
2.Think before you take action
3.Make a list, either on paper or in your mind
4.Do things in order, one at a time
5.Do things for a reason not randomly
6.Stay focused so you don’t become scattered
7.Be and stay organized
8.Be deliberate in your actions
9.Have clear intentions
10.Be patientFor example, before you go out for the day, think about what do you need, take your time, get organized, put things in your bag, put things you don’t need away, i.e. clothes, makeup, etc. The things you are done with. Take your time; think your actions through, slow down.
Before you take a meeting or a business call, what is your intention? Make a list, think about what outcome do you want and why, what you discuss, and how will you respond and why. Know why you are having this conversation and what your end result, desires or intentions are, and stick to only those things that will get you there. Don’t think about or focus the “what ifs” etc. Be deliberate.
Before you confront someone, think it through, know your goal, make a list, be clear, stay in the positive, be direct, think calmly, be specific. Be deliberate. There is a REASON for this conversation. There is a desired intention.
I am finding that acting and living daily from a place of deliberate action and clear intention is really changing my life. I am moving more calmly and less scattered. I am more patient and making fewer mistakes. I am not as nervous and calmer with my children. I am getting more done with less effort, and feeling less pressured and allowing myself to live in the moment more.
Deliberate living with clear intention is a skill that takes time and practice. I want to leave you with one of my intentions that I recently wrote and it is working quiet well in my life. Feel free to use it as one of yours.”
It is indeed a skill to live mindfully. Part of it is paying attention and acting deliberately in regard to the inner bully. Over time of refining this skill, your inner bully will be weaker and weaker and show up less and less often, until one day… who knows? You might be dancing in front of other people with the same carefree attitude as you have when you dance unobserved!
anita
August 8, 2016 at 2:12 pm #111905
Robert StokleyParticipantWell I kinda feel the same way.I’m trying to sale my screenplay and I have done every thing there is to do, But no luck.http://dunkleosteusweb.wix.com/dunklethescreenplay
August 8, 2016 at 2:13 pm #111906Robert StokleyParticipantNow What?
August 8, 2016 at 3:14 pm #111917JanusParticipantspeaking of the negative in the world in regard to your first post (anita) i tend to see the word in black and white with a few touches of gray, there are some people who are quite too rigid in their religious beliefs and they think their religion is better than others. there have been some wiccans that will say that i’m not a real wiccan b/c i haven’t received coven initiation, but i think the goddess and god can make a wiccan. wicca is a religion of worshipping nature, of using the natural energy of the earth to help aid themselves in their goals. i am a buddhist wiccan since buddhism also meditates like wiccans do and they both share the view of walking your own path to enlightenment and end of suffering. many tibetan buddhists often use nature as a teacher and for their meditations. i say that it doesn’t matter what religion or belief you are, what matters is your actions. http://www.beliefnet.com/faiths/galleries/understanding-the-magic-behind-wiccans.aspx?source=NEWSLETTER&nlsource=29&ppc=&p=6
there is a logical fallacy that i think quite funny and it is “If god can do anything, can he create a rock that is so heavy he couldn’t lift it?” http://groups.able2know.org/philforum/topic/3235-1
this is cool:
http://www.beliefnet.com/entertainment/celebrities/galleries/5-celebrities-you-dont-want-your-children-to-look-up-to.aspx?source=NEWSLETTER&nlsource=29&ppc=&p=2also a quote by Epicurus which is:
“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”i think it is our own actions that determine our lives and also that we have a higher self within us. i would like to enjoy time out to be truly alone in nature b/c my parents can be quite criticizing. they tell me that i have no life skills
August 8, 2016 at 3:18 pm #111918JanusParticipanti like your second post especially the technique of preparing before a meeting by writing down your intentions. i have begun to let go of most of my inner bully and i have more confidence in myself and people’s criticism doesn’t bother me as much. restokley, i like your screenplay, what steps did you take if you don’t mind listing them, maybe there is a part that could be missing?
August 8, 2016 at 3:24 pm #111919JanusParticipantalso i forgot to mention that i’m starting to notice the patterns of numbers. check today’s date, isn’t it cool?
8/8/16 8+8=16:D
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