Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Too Criticizing of Myself
- This topic has 1,412 replies, 25 voices, and was last updated 1 month, 2 weeks ago by Janus.
December 23, 2022 at 8:18 am #412508AnonymousGuest
You are very welcome, thank you, and Happy Holidays to you!
You mentioned the actor Elliot Page, Wikipedia: “Page (currently 35 years old)… was assigned female at birth and used his birth name of Ellen prior to transitioning… On February 14, 2014, Page, who at that time presented as female, came out as gay… On December 1, 2020, Page came out as a trans man on his social media accounts, specified his pronoun as he and they, and revealed his new name, Elliot. Page explained that his decision to speak openly about his gender identity was partially prompted… by the anti-transgender rhetoric in politics and the news cycle. GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) spokesperson Nick Adams stated that Page ‘will now be an inspiration to countless trans and non-binary people‘…Page also revealed that at the age of nine, ‘I felt like a boy… I wanted to be a boy. I would ask my mom if I could be someday.‘”.
You mentioned Michael Dillon (1915-1962, died at the age of 47), from Wikipedia, summarized: Dillon was born female and grew up in the Church of England. In 1939 (age 24), he sought treatment from George Foss, who had been experimenting with testosterone to treat excessive menstrual bleeding. The hormones soon made it possible for him to pass as male at his workplace (a garage) and eventually the garage manager insisted that other employees refer to Dillon as ‘he’ in order to avoid confusing customers. He went through a double mastectomy, and officially became Laurence Michael Dillon in 1944 (age 29). Gillies, a surgeon who had previously reconstructed penises for injured soldiers and performed surgery on intersex people with ambiguous genitalia, performed a phalloplasty on Dilon, consisting of at least 13 surgeries between 1946 and 1949 (ages 31-34). From what I read elsewhere, Michael Dillon was the world’s first person known to have successfully transitioned both hormonally and surgically from female to male.
Michael Dillon went through both hormonal and surgical transitioning (and died) BEFORE the beginning of the political movement for gay rights in the late 1960s and before the initials LGBT were ever used (1988), so he had no political and social support. From my readings, none of it was easy for him, and most, if not all of his physical transitioning was done in secret, but he was driven to … transition. I tried to find his cause of death, but couldn’t. Do you know what it was?
anitaDecember 23, 2022 at 11:31 am #412523
It started snowing 🌨 at 1pm EST today. However, the snow will turn to rain later today and snow accumulations will be less than 0.5 inches.
Most precipitation in the air starts as snow, these snowflakes ❄ develop high in the atmosphere where the temperature is below 32⁰F. The weather currently is 34⁰F so the ground level temperature is above 32⁰F. The falling snow passes through the freezing layer (above the ground level) and comes into contact with warm air that melts the snow producing rain.
“Rain or Snow” 2010.atmos.uiuc.eduDecember 23, 2022 at 11:54 am #412524
Elliot Page, born Feb. 21 1987 in Canada took an interest in acting at a young age. His first local production in fifth grade, Pit Pony received a Gemini nomination (analogous to the U.S. Emmy Awards) for great actors.
At the Time to THRIVE conference in Feb. 2014 addressing lgbtq rights, Elliot Page came out as gay.
In 2015, Page began hosting Gaycation featuring lgbtq people around the world.
Dec. 1st 2020 Elliot Page came out as transgender and became the first transmale to be featured on Time magazine in March 2021.
Elliot Page is thriving and glad that he transitioned to be more fully his authentic self.
“Elliot Page” biography.comDecember 23, 2022 at 12:41 pm #412525
Michael Dillon was born Laura Maura Dillon on May 1st 1915 in the UK. Growing up Michael Dillon was very uncomfortable with his gender identity and experienced gender dysphoria, feeling more comfortable dressing as a man. It was very difficult for him to seek resources during this time.
He was the first transgender man to receive testosterone and gender affirming surgery to construct a penis (phalloplasty).
At age 24 he received testosterone hormones from Dr. George Foss. He medically transitioned and legally changed from Laura Maura Dillon to Laurence Michael Dillon in 1939.
During 1942 in Bristol, England, Dr. Foss referred Michael Dillon to Harold Gillies, a plastic surgeon who helped Dillon with a phalloplasty.
After WWII ended in 1945, Michael Dillon completed his studies in Bristol becoming a prominent physician and pioneer in transgender history. Dr. Dillon’s most significant achievement is his book “A study in ethics and endocrinology” which provided medical doctors with care guidelines on how to treat trans patients today.
In 1958, the Daily Express news in the UK realized there was a discrepancy in the person listed as “Laura Dillon” in the aristocratic class and Michael Dillon. Michael Dillon protested that he had long identified as a male and that he still had valid lineage to the aristocratic line of his parents. However he was unsuccessful and discriminated against so he fled to India and became a Buddhist monk. He was the first British person to be ordained as a monk taking the name Jivaka. He felt accepted as a monk but his visa expired so he was forced to leave India.
On May 1, 1962 he completed his autobiography about his transition from female to male and how happy he felt as a transmale. He mailed the autobiography in an envelope and it was long unpublished but never lost. The autobiography titled “Out of the Ordinary: A life of gender and spiritual transitions” arrived from India to the desk of the publisher John Johnson in London where it was finally published in 2017.
Michael Dillon’s death cause is unknown since he died at the age of 47 in Dalhousie hospital. Some people speculate he might have been poisoned since no one in his family seemed to have accepted his transition.
Alex Ashcroft, “Michael Dillon: the 2 laws which could have saved him” Feb. 18th 2021 lgbtlawyers.co.uk
Michael Dillon “Out of the Ordinary: A Life of Gender and Spiritual Transitions” 2017 transreads.orgDecember 23, 2022 at 1:58 pm #412528AnonymousGuest
Snowing in New Jersey: here it is no longer snowing and yesterday’s snow turned to ice. Thank you again for the information and for the answer to my question. I just came across the book Out of the Ordinary: A life of gender and spiritual transitions online (trans reads. org).
Chapter 1 is called “Birth and Origin”, Ch. 2: “The Nursery”, Ch 3: “Schooldays”, page 73 (the parenthesis and the italicized are my additions): “Now that I was growing up I had begun to suffer from the naggings of all the aunts and grown up cousins, for not becoming womanly. When I was small, being a tomboy did not matter, I was told, but now I should try and be a young lady…. Suddenly I was struck with an awful thought… He (his 18-year-old nephew at the time) thinks I’m a woman.” It was a horrible moment and I felt stunned. I had never thought of myself as such despite being technically a girl… People thought I was a woman. But I wasn’t. I was just me. How could one live like that?…”-
– there are more chapters, but I will stop here. What amazes me is how completely he felt that he was not a woman: a woman identity was completely foreign to him. He was technically female, and he knew it, but only technically. In other words, it was not that he was a woman who was dissatisfied about being a woman and wished to be a man instead (as many women are). What it was, was that outside technicalities, he was not a woman at all. In yet other words, using modern terminology: his gender identity was 100% that of a man. I have a better understanding now thanks to you, Janus, for introducing this book to me!
anitaDecember 29, 2022 at 11:10 am #412825
It’s great that you read some parts of the book 📖. Dr. Dillon was a transgender pioneer who paved the way for other trans folks in the world. I believe Dr. Dillon became a physician to help others who struggled with their gender identity but since it was very difficult for him during his time to find community he sought spiritual meaning in life.
I feel this passage from the Editors’ Introduction speaks strongly to me : ” There is nothing for man in this world, but conquest of his mind, of the way he takes the world in all its absurdities and pompous imaginations. What is it the Work teaches? ‘Remember in this secret is, in this Teaching, not to try to change external circumstances because if you do not change yourself and the way you take the repeating events of life, everything will recur in the same way. As long as you remain as you are in yourself you will attract the same problems, same difficulties, same situation but if you change yourself your life will change. ‘ And, ‘you cannot reform the world, you can only reform your way of taking the world’. ”
Out of the Ordinary : A life of gender and spiritual transitions
I feel this is very powerful insight. Michael Dillon/Jivaka was hurt in his workplaces as a transgender male and he sought acceptance in a Buddhist monastery. I think in his spiritual path, he gained better understanding and awareness of his mind and better control so he could make decisions on his physical transition.
The editors note that Out of the Ordinary autobiography was divided into two parts: Conquest of the body and Conquest of the mind.
I believe that in his transition Dr. Dillon found peace of mind, finally belonging in a body that matched how his mind identified as. He realized that he couldn’t change the world or make all people accept him, he could only be true to himself and explore how to build himself up.December 29, 2022 at 12:34 pm #412833AnonymousGuest
You wrote in regard to the book Out of the Ordinary: A life of gender and spiritual transitions, and it’s worth copying and pasting it here: “I feel this passage from the Editors’ Introduction speaks strongly to me: ‘There is nothing for man in this world, but conquest of his mind, of the way he takes the world in all its absurdities… you cannot reform the world, you can only reform your way of taking the world’.”
I hope that indeed, “in his transition Dr. Dillon found peace of mind, finally belonging in a body that matched how his mind identified as. He realized that he couldn’t change the world or make all people accept him, he could only be true to himself and explore how to build himself up“, and that you, Janus, continue to follow his footsteps in this regard.
anitaJanuary 5, 2023 at 9:18 am #413239
I find that having peace of mind, and spiritual fulfillment is better than all the material things in the world. I believe that the world changes a little at a time, but doesn’t change quickly. Learning to be at peace with oneself, healing helps create one more light in the world. That one more light makes the glow brighter. Dr. Dillon was a pioneer for trans people helping raise awareness that there’s people outside the gender binary. Sometimes just being yourself and finding your spiritual purpose inspires others.January 5, 2023 at 9:30 am #413240AnonymousGuest
Good to read from you this Thurs morning! Peace of mind is indeed better than all material things.
“I believe that the world changes a little at a time, but doesn’t change quickly“- this sentence reminds me of a thread I answered less than 3 hours ago. If you check the thread titled “Urgent: I have a Crush on my female Boss. Is she into me?” you can read my that post, as well as the rest of the thread, if you wish. Maybe you will want to add to it, if you think it’s a good idea and if you feel comfortable doing so.
anitaJanuary 6, 2023 at 7:32 am #413278WittlyParticipant
Hey! Don’t know if this helps or not,
but as someone who has always had a loud critical inner voice about myself too, and my fake solution for the last years kind of was overworking to feel more worthy, that lead to burnout and even more anxiety and stress initially..
For the past year I started learning more about self-love and care and how to live a more balanced life and feel better, and I also started writing blog posts about some tips and tricks and why self-care is important and how to reach it.
This is one of my articles if you’re interested to check out some self-care tips:
I’d be super happy if that helps somehow, and would greatly appreciate some discussion and feedback too.January 8, 2023 at 12:02 pm #413458
Thanks for sharing the thread Urgent: I have a Crush on my female Boss. Is she into me?”
I like the news resources you shared in the forum about LGBTQ+ people and safety. I feel that it takes a small group of individuals to change the world one step at a time. But it can still be difficult in places like Islamic Middle East with Sharia laws that forbid LGBTQ+ people and countries in Africa. Safety is very important. There have been many LGBTQ+ people who have had private relationships in places where there’s persecution. Although hiding who they are can be hard at times, sometimes it’s good to protect ourselves. Maybe with time people in countries that forbid LGBTQ+ people can seek asylum in other accepting countries.January 8, 2023 at 12:05 pm #413459
Thanks for sharing your self-care tips article.
I have an inner critic that I’m still working on healing things from. Taking time for self-care and not overworking, acknowledging the feelings helps us heal. Hugs.January 8, 2023 at 12:09 pm #413460
I like your practicing self-compassion tips.
I tend to beat myself up sometimes and taking a break to be mindful allowing myself to relax and remind myself that I’m okay helps.January 8, 2023 at 12:26 pm #413461AnonymousGuest
You are welcome and thank you for the excellent post you submitted on the other thread. I like it very much for its clarity, accuracy and preciseness. I also like what you wrote here today, on your own thread: “it takes a small group of individuals to change the world one step at a time“- let’s continue to be two individuals here, on the forums, changing the world one step at a time! I would like to get your attention to other threads on LGBTQ+ topics in the future.
anitaJanuary 10, 2023 at 7:47 pm #413580
I was reading “How LGBTQI+ Groups in Zimbabwe Fight for Change and the Right to Political Participation” on how activists are campaigning for equality.
Mojalifa Ndlovu is an openly gay man who travels 250 miles to attend Gays and Lesbians Association of Zimbabwe (GALZ) to discuss the rights of LGBTQI+ people. The coalition provides a safe space for individuals to meet.
Mojalifa has experienced threats like having unknown cars following him home. And I Zimbabwe same-sex relationships are not allowed.
He is an outspoken activist for LGBTQI+ rights stating “To achieve meaningful and lasting change, we believe first in harnessing individual and collective self-determination, voice, agency, and empowerment of marginalized, vulnerable, and key populations. We believe it is when they are empowered, they are capable of challenging and redressing the deep-rooted inequalities and inequities that predispose them to multiple vulnerabilities.”
By providing safe spaces where LGBTQI+ people can gather and talk about things can provide a sense of mental health support and acceptance. It takes a small amount of individuals to change the world and no matter how difficult it may seem there is always light in the darkness. One candle can make the darkness brighter.
If a person who identifies as LGBTQI+ is in a place where they might not be safe, there are resources out there for them.