Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

I am a 35 years old guy from the Middle East and my relationship with my father has recently started to take a very bad turn and a nose-dive. Naturally like in our culture I trusted my father like no one else in the whole world but recently I discovered that he was deceiving me and has actually stolen all my savings of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

It all started 7 years ago when I found a good paying job overseas as a software architect. I worked in big multi-national company abroad for about 4 years. At the same time my father back home retired from his job and started a big project for our middle-income family. The project was a multi-story building in a nice neighborhood and it was intended to be as an investment (apartments for rent) and also to be used by me and my other brothers and sisters in the future. I am the eldest son and the only one having a job in our family at the time. So, I joined the project and started to send the majority of my monthly paycheck to my father for the building and development expenses. I was happy I am actually helping out the whole family.

Four years later when my father project completed I decided to quit my overseas job and return back to my country. I thought, well, now I have a nice apartment to live in and I can actually get married and start a personal business in my country instead. That was my plan basically. Only then when the problems started to arise. My father told me some terrible news. He said he built the building with his retirement money while my own money which I was sending him for years are available for me and I can go to the bank to get it. Period. Basically he told me that the building project was his while my money is mine! Not a major problem in normal circumstances but in my case my country was going through its toughest economic collapse; My country, Sudan, splitted into two countries after a long-term war, and our national currency became useless when exchanged to foreign currencies. Not only that. When I checked the bank account that my father used to manage I found what I assumed to be less than 25% of the actual money I transfered to my father over four years of my employment overseas! Unfortunately and because I had an absolute trust on my father I never actually wrote anything down. I was sending him the majority of my paycheck, thousands of dollars every month, but never took any notes. No bank statements to refer to; No clue how much EXACTLY I was sending him. At the end, my saving money on my father hands became of little value and I failed to buy a house or even a car of my own. I could not marry yet. For me that was not just a big disappointment but a disaster in and of itself.

Of course I had a discussion with my father. I argued a lot. BIG TIME. I told him why you didn’t tell me about your retirement money in the first place. I thought he is receiving a monthly pension, not a one-time big retirement cash. I questioned him why he kept calling me overseas and requesting my money to be transfered to him for the building project if he already had enough money to do it. I sadly said to him, well, now my money has lost its value because of the economic situation and because it was simply sitting in the bank for four years without investing it. If I knew I would have invested it somewhere somehow. The result of my argument with my father was absolutely nothing. I did not mention the fact that my money is supposed to be fourfold that amount; I though that kind of loud accusation from a son to his father would simply destroy our relationship forever; I didn’t want to hurt his feelings anymore since he has health issues. For me, I just concluded that my father has unintentionally failed me and that he didn’t mean to do all that to me. I convinced myself the hard way that the rest of my money, nearly 75% of it, was already spent in the building project and other family expenses like my brothers/sisters school and college fees etc etc which is OK with me if my father knowledged it. I just decided to move on. To forget it all. I was deeply wounded and heart-broken that my four years of hard work overseas resulted in nothing because of my father; not even a thank-you; but I sincerely decided to suck it in and just let it go.

All that was three years ago when I returned back home from my overseas job. But.. Just recently, like last month, my father was chatting with me and he actually told me that he’s got a huge sum of money in his investment bank account. About 500,000 U.S dollars! He never tells me before about his financial status EVER. Why now? From where? What is the source of that money? If he built his multi-story building from his retirement money then from where did he get half a million dollar now?

I know how much his retirement money was. I know how much the building cost. I know how much he earns from renting apartments. I know he has no other sources of income. Yet when it comes to the $500,000 I can’t assume anything except its my own money – the money I earned from my overseas job after it was invested for years and years. I even know the fact that his investment bank gives about 18% profit-rate annually, so whatever the initial deposit was it would increase fast over the years.

Honestly I have not yet open a new discussion with my father about his new secret treasure; I know that discussing money issues with him will drive me crazy because he simply does not care. He is cold as ice. He wants to be seen as the owner of everything and the provider of the family, not me. Its almost a month now and I can’t even sleep properly; I rarely eat; Last week I was held in a hospital for hours because of dehydration and they gave me several bags/drips through the vein; I keep asking myself questions that only my father is suppose to answer; why did you do that to me? why did you steal my money? why didn’t you ask yourself one day one question about your whole financial situation? why you suddenly became rich after you retired at the age of 60? is it even possible that you don’t know you have my money? should I go big and start a fight? go to the police? complain to other family members like his mom and brothers and create a mess? should I just move on AGAIN and just disappear and never meet my father and the whole family altogether? should I forgive him and forget it all for the second time although the picture is 100% clear now and its just a matter of simple math and basic calculation? Does even forgiveness in something like that possible?!

For the first time in my life I started to HATE my father. I know its terrible to say that especially in my country where people will automatically judge you and call you a bad son or daughter who does not respect their father! Well, I have being respecting and trusting my father with my life, my whole life, by I can’t take it anymore. Deep inside I know its not an issue of money but an issue of trust in the first place. Deep inside I know that even if he admitted his fault and gave me all my money back after all these years I would still not trust or respect him again. The damage is already done, and the broken glass can never be fixed.

Any words of advice, ideas, or even condolences would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your time.