Good Day Everyone.

I came across the tiny buddah page today whilst browsing “How to forgive yourself for mistakes you make at work.” – As my search criteria suggests, I needed a little pick me up after I made a mistake on a task my manager asked me to complete.

I was, or rather am very relieved to have stumbled upon this site because it made me feel better to know that there are other people who have difficulty moving on or getting over mistakes or errors.

Please forgive me for the lengthy “story” I’m about to share. I’m an introvert and for some reason I feel like I can share my thoughts on this page without fear of any judgement, and also in hopes that someone might offer an opinion or perspective that could be of some assistance.

I’ve always been a perfectionist and so much of my self-worth is tied to my accomplishments, which up till now have always been academic.

I’ve graduated two years ago and entered the workplace as an intern and it is in this environment that I’ve started noticing my anxiety or it has become more prevalent.

I quickly learned and am still learning that achieving my goals aren’t as simple as they were back in varsity, I am making a lot more mistakes and bad judgements now than I ever did – not intentionally of course.

I am not accustomed to not succeeding at a task on the first try, and also making oversights; as I usually pay attention to detail.

Since I’ve started working, I realise that I have a lot to learn but I somehow can’t seem to stop making mistakes, like not reading an email thoroughly – resulting in my response not being exactly befitting the request made in the email, or sometimes forgetting to update details in documents that need to be changed frequently such as names, dates, and exchange rates etc.

I perceive every individual I work with to be highly intelligent people that I would love to learn from. But every single time I make a mistake like the ones I mentioned above, I feel that I am disappointing them and myself and that I am unworthy of being in the position to work with and learn from them.

This feeling seems to stay around for days and I constantly think about the mistakes I’ve made. I’ve tried paying attention to my feelings and thoughts whenever I make a mistake and I found myself thinking things like: “You’re stupid, how could you not notice that.” And “Why are you here? You can’t do this.”

I want nothing more than to be successful but all these mistakes I make on a regular basis coupled with my self-doubt and persistent negative thoughts are making me feel like I’m in over my head and I don’t know how to get myself out of what seems to be a dark spiral.