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Reply To: Mental or Emotional Prison?

HomeForumsEmotional MasteryMental or Emotional Prison?Reply To: Mental or Emotional Prison?

#121414
Adrian Gallardo
Participant

Thank you for the help, I’d like to describe a two monumental moments that drove me to even consider posting on a forum such as this one.

Point A
This happened about 1 year ago around the same time, I feel into a deep depression with lethargy and lonliness, it all triggered off an argument with my dad, wanting to monitor me and refuse to let me hang out with my friends because he and my mom noticed my change in attitude to them. I wasn’t acting stuck up, I was going against the quota they set up about me, school, friends, etc. Because they were wrong. And that argument tipped the scale, I felt a sudden shock, as if things could not be real, that I would have to defend myself against the people I loved, that although their intentions were to “better me” it only sought to destroy the person I am. After that, for months I stopped doing the things I loved, I would spend afternoons at a friends house because it felt better to not be home. After a while I felt better, I seeked help and comfort in friends and teachers, and most importantly, music. I found myself listening to a particular album, “Evermore: The Art of Duality.” It completely changed my life, how I thought, and resonated with me on a very deep level. Next thing you know I was back to myself, started working out again through boxing, playing video games, being the happy, funny, confident and careless person I once was. I felt like I was on top of the world, because I knew I was truly smart, creative, fashionable, etc. And I carried that message of unity, of knowledge, the values and lessons I learned from living and experiencing those 4 months of depression and isolation, of being mentally chained. Then summer comes around and I set out to do a lot, training to become faster and stronger for boxing, wealthier economically to move out and continue on my own, reading to increase the knowledge I have and to relax, I sought out to do all the things I wanted because they were meaningful to me. But than after a while, things got bad, and there I was, alone, scared, weak, defenseless, isolated, imprisoned, once again.