Dear Poppy:

You wrote: “I know and have all the knowledge, my worry is (which I know I shouldn’t worry as I cannot control the future)..”- you have the knowledge that worrying is ineffective, but you still worry, correct…?

“…Is it right to say that what have learnt will/should come naturally to provide me with better relationships?”
– back to the worrying example: you have the knowledge that worrying is ineffective, that we can’t control the future. But if you have the mental habit of worrying, the worrying-neuropathways established in your brain, you will continue to worry.

The knowing that worrying is ineffective is a small, simple neuropathway, similar to learning the following: “a water molecule is made of two atoms of hydrogen and one of oxygen”- but the worrying-neuropathways are multiple and connected to many others. So the small, simple, new pathways of learning from articles and books, these do not undo the complex multiple pathways established in childhood, over many years.

For new thinking, feeling and behavior to be established so they “come naturally” for you- it takes a continuation of the Healing Process that you already started. It takes time, continuous work, incredible patience with the process and gentleness with yourself as your brain is literally rewired.

anita