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  • April 30, 2017 at 9:49 am #147407
    Mini Ahuja
    Participant

    Hi TB Team

    I just came across a wonderful blog here, “http://tinybuddha.com/blog/making-a-big-decision-when-youre-not-sure-which-choice-is-right/” and I somewhere agree with it. Found it really helpful. To make a big decision, think what you want and fight your fear that comes in between. True! However, I’ve read a few other quotes that often confuse me in tough times.

    “If it is meant to happen, it’ll happen.” If this is true, what’s the use of making efforts for things we don’t want to happen?

    “Putting yourself first isn’t being selfish.” Then, why people get hurt with our actions that we take for our own happiness?

    “There is nothing like right or wrong, listen to your heart and do what you want.” Then why we feel confused when taking decision – whether it is right or not?

     

    Please help me in my confusions.

    Thanks.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    May 1, 2017 at 7:49 am #147501
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Mini Ahuja,

    “If it’s meant to happen, it’ll happen”: If you’re an artist (for example) make art for the sake of making art, not for fame or money. Don’t beat your head against a wall. Love someone but don’t get attached to reciprocal feelings. The action is its own reward.

    “Putting yourself first isn’t being selfish”: That is true to a degree. I wouldn’t go to Vegas only to let my child go hungry, for example. But I do go on occasional excursions and have hobbies. When someone wants a piece of me I don’t want to give I say I have a meeting (really with myself) or am busy. Or I tell the truth and say “I’m at capacity”. Only a jerk would question your private whereabouts and activities or care.

    “There is no right or wrong, listen to your heart and do what you want”: Well, I do believe in social order. There is right and wrong. I wouldn’t dump my husband to go out with my crush of the week. I wouldn’t abandon my children to live in a monastery. Everything else though is fair game! 😉

    Best,

    Inky

    May 1, 2017 at 11:02 am #147543
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mini Ahuja:

    Regarding the first: “If it is meant to happen, it’ll happen.” If this is true, what’s the use of making efforts for things we don’t want to happen?-

    I don’t believe the statement is true. Many people believe in predestination, the belief that events are decided on by a god before they happen. “if it is meant to happen'”- means meant by a god of some sort. I don’t believe in predestination. I believe things happen as a result of choices- in your life, that would be your choices and many other people’s choices as they affect you, from politicians to bankers to parents. Choices as well as random events such as floods, droughts and such.

    Regarding: “Putting yourself first isn’t being selfish.” Then, why people get hurt with our actions that we take for our own happiness?-

    We should put ourselves first but in the context of Win-Win interactions and relationships. In other words, a person’s main responsibility is to attend to his/her well being, but not at the cost of another person’s well being.

    Also, often people feel hurt not because you have done something wrong. For example, a person may scream at you and feel hurt if you don’t obey him as a result of his/ her aggression. You didn’t do anything wrong by not submitting to aggression… even though the aggressor may feel hurt.

    Regarding: “There is nothing like right or wrong, listen to your heart and do what you want.” Then why we feel confused when taking decision – whether it is right or not?-

    I disagree with this one as well. There is such a thing as right and wrong. It is wrong to abuse another person. It is always wrong to abuse a child, for one.

    anita

    May 1, 2017 at 11:10 am #147547
    Mini Ahuja
    Participant

    Thank You Anita and Inky for your words.

     

    May 1, 2017 at 11:28 am #147559
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, Mini Ahuja.

    anita

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