Hi Pharaohsoto,

I went through the same thing in college in that my boyfriend turned out to like men and women. Eventually he broke up with me because he wanted to experiment.

Let me ask you this: If his best friend was a girl you would have every right to be “jealous” and “crazy” if you saw them in a club dancing all over each other. Right?

Just because he loves you despite your illnesses doesn’t mean you don’t get to have preferences. You get to prefer a guy who’s into girls and into only you.

My advice? Love him at a distance. Tell him you are casting him loose to experiment because you love him. That love comes in many forms. That you love him now as a friend. And that even though he would never choose between you and his best friend, you are choosing your well-being over him.

Good Luck!

Inky

• This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by Inky.

Apologies!

I guess my advice would still apply for two guys:

You are allowed to have preferences for someone who is totally into you. Dancing all over their best friend negates him being totally interested in you. If you feel something is “off” it probably is. And yes, you are allowed to break up with someone because you don’t feel good about the whole thing. Yes, even if you’re “jealous” and “crazy”.

Actually, my daughter went through something similar, only with her BF and his best friend who was a girl. I told her that her jealousy was bred in the bone, that it’s natural. Culture tries to trick us into dishonoring our jealousy and natural instincts. I said that she’s not asking for much. And that she’s not a jealous person by nature. But the BF should cut it out (seeing her alone, etc.). What happened was he said, “I’m not going to stop seeing my best friend because of the principle of the thing!” My DD told him she was taking a break because it’s not working for her. He came back a week later when he realized his principles weren’t keeping him warm at night.

You have to do what’s right for YOU!

Inky