Oh Fezza, my heart goes out to you!!

You can be mad at the woman all you want, but ultimately the fault begins and ends with your father. HE is your father. YOU are his daughter. If his name is on the mortgage (and especially not hers) he can tell her SHE doesn’t need to be there when HIS daughter visits! But that’s not the real issue. The REAL issue is your father has to take ownership in his relationship to you.

The forgotten wedding card is an excuse for her to be hateful to you. Believe me, she could have used any excuse!

Are they married? If not, maybe the woman was jealous of his original, true family. You don’t know the backstory. Maybe she was patiently waiting in the wings for him for years and he wouldn’t leave your mother, or give her the time of day who knows. You are his true family, and she can NEVER take that away from you. Nor can the smug daughter. And they know it!

Reach out to your dad and take him out alone once in a while. Meet him at work. If he has haunts or hobbies, run into him there. And talk. Really talk. But do NOT put the woman down while speaking your truth. Remember, it’s really about HIM, not her after all.

If he ends up marrying the creature you will have to be cordial I’m afraid, to them. But that’s another post.

I know exactly what you’re going through!

Inky