Dear yumi:
I think it is impossible to let go when you have nothing to hold on to. If you do, you self destruct.
You want to let go of your past, but have no hope for your future. In reality, as you hold on to the past, you are living in the present. You make your present about your past, but it is still the present time. Pay attention to the present, to the here-and-now. What is happening now? What are your thoughts, feelings, sensations; what do you see, hear… what is happening around you?
You asked: “What can I do to shift my world?” My answer is: shift from past-future to the present by practicing of Mindfulness, from guided meditation to the ongoing practice of it. There are blogs on the home page of this website on Mindfulness and many other reading materials in book stores and online.
Post again anytime.
anita