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Reply To: My ex returned when I started being happy again..

HomeForumsRelationshipsMy ex returned when I started being happy again..Reply To: My ex returned when I started being happy again..

#154642
Mepina
Participant

I think my main problem (and the secret motivation of making things to work) is that I am afraid to make other people sad or angry.

I generally do this: If one is upset with me, even if I am 100% right and maybe not even the one that actually caused it, I feel guilty and sad. I feel I disappointed the other person and I am a bad person for hurting him/her. So, I tend to try to calm and ease others and this makes me feel I am a good person (I tried to make them happy so all are ok) even If actually, I eliminate myself by accepting others desires and bad behaviors and neglect my desires and my feelings. I need to work more with myself to overcome this so that I do not feel all the time responsible for others feelings.

There are good people out there; some of my friends that know how I behave (my guilt tendencies) and they never take advantage of it. But, others, like my ex-boyfriend or some friends, can push the correct buttons to create this feeling for achieving their own goals and manipulate me.

This whole issue, made many of my hidden fears, problems, childhood memories etc to reveal and urge me to finally face them, see them and also solve them and stop to ignore them anymore. I really hope this whole procedure to make me a stronger and more confident person.

Thank you again for everything!

 

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by Mepina.
  • This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by Mepina.