I was going to counseling after the divorce, but like you couldn’t keep paying for it. So instead, I find things

I too was bullied as a kid and found that my husbands meanness and betrayal brought it back up to the surface for me. I had good years combined with our relationship, my job success and family and friends where my self-esteem was good. But the end of the marriage at the same time as the death of my mother also came with having to move a long distance by myself, figuring out a new career (while being jobless) and the loss of several friendships, some due to the divorce and some to other circumstances. It like my entire life was washed away and I have started anew. I still have bad days but I have more good and I try to look at it as a fresh beginning and appreciate the progress I have made. My attitude is that I’m making a comeback! By the way, I’m 47.

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. Carl Gustav Jung

Manders, I acknowledge that I have a lot to do with my current situation but I need at least that one person to pursue me and then I might feel I am worth it.

I constantly observe people around me and most of the time I notice that people will not talk to me unless I talk to them first. …and forget if I get into a disagreement with someone. I might as well not exist.

I want to know what it feels like to be truly really wanted at least once. Unless I can not recognize being wanted ir I didn’t want them and do not want to acknowledge that. Even the ones that expressed interest never really tried hard enough for me.

I am sorry for your breakup but good for you concentrating on your self esteem.

Idon’t know whether to classify myself as a whiny lazy loser when it comes to my love kife. I really haven’t known what to do about it over the years. I do make an effort to be friendly but it never seems to go anywhere. I guess I have always needed them to lead all the time. Maybe my childhood did screw me up for more than a couple of reasons but other women seemed to go through the same things and still manage relationships. I don’t understand why I am different and why I am so hated for feeling bad that I am different.

I can not be upset for my lack of anything.

It’s like other women are given 10 different ways of support and I am the unwanted orphan told that I should be just happy I am allowed to have a roof over my head.

I know people like to be around happy people but I want unconditional love and friendship. I would give it. Why can’t I get what I would give?

I am sure you will be dating soon. I sense that you are strong and determined to keep your self esteem a priority. My self esteem is determined by how much I am needed and very few people express that they need me.