Dear Mina:

Thoughts and advice at this point, again, having very little information, really: always take care of yourself first, this is your primary responsibility. Intend to not suffer unnecessarily. You suffering over your boyfriend difficulties is not helping him and it is hurting you.

Sure, easier said (or typed) than done, of course. I understand it. But form the Intent, that is all. More will develop later.

You are not responsible for your boyfriend’s difficulties, for his difficulties due to his relationships with his parents, his life circumstances: you didn’t give birth to him (!) and you didn’t create his life circumstances. Your part in his life is small and so, your affect and effect on his life is much smaller than all the factors that pre-existed you and which have nothing to do with you.

Take care of yourself, attend to your own mental health. Form the intent to not drown in others’ misery, or the misery you perceive that they are experiencing. For example, your ex boyfriend might be feeling very good this very moment while you perceive that he is suffering this very moment. As you suffer at any one moment for his (perceived) suffering, you are the one suffering while he is feeling very good.

anita