Today I broke up with a beautiful widow.  Although I see her different she sees herself as a widow.  We have dated for 5 months.  She is three years four months away from her husband’s unexpected death.  She had a good relationship with what sounds like a great guy.  She has spent three long years digging herself out of this tragedy.  She has had many ‘light’ relationships until me.  By her words and my experience we had a very meaningful relationship.  She remained at bay as expected trying to protect herself and her son.  We kept growing closer with much shared happiness.   We have traveled together and talked about a long term relationship.  However two weeks ago she had to start clearing out her basement due to a recent mild flood.  This triggered some old feelings for her as her husband’s picture and what not were in the basement.  Then she started her deep commitment to one of her late husband’s and her’s annual social event.  She become unavailable to me time wise.  Her loving words became infrequent.  I have tried to understand where she is coming from and although she says she loves me has become unavailable.  She reports she is stuck and doesn’t know what to do.   She is scared of our relationship.  I have reached out endlessly and somewhat foolishly to see what I can help with. But she remains distant.  After many discussions I called our relationship off.  I am torn and twisted on what happened.  I am lost.  I do want to be with her but consider it fruitless if she does not know if she wants to work on it.   I appreciate any advice on what to do.