@coconut: yes, even though i am embarrassed to tell you guys, because i know this is not normal and not ok. i’m jealous when he talks to his sister on the phone. they don’t even see each other regularly, except for the holidays. but even the fact that he might be close to her makes me feel less important. I want to be the one whom he is closest with. i want to be best friends with my partner. and in these situations, maybe normal people wouldn’t say anything. but i can’t keep quiet and get really mad and say stuff like why don’t you call me and talk for hours? (we actually do but i’m the one who instigates the calls which makes me feel like it means less, because it wasn’t done freely by him), then he gets really mad because he can’t understand this behaviour. and then i am sad that he gets mad instead of comforting me and showing me that there is no reason to be jealous. i don’t know. sometimes i think it’s my fault, sometimes i think he should be more loving and understanding especially when i need it. it’s so difficult and sometimes i don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore.

did you do anything to change your behaviour? may i ask how old you are?! and how do you deal with it now?! i had the same problems in my past relationships, back then for some reason i wasn’t willing to change, always blaming my partners. i think i felt like i was too young to change for anybody, or maybe they weren’t “worth it” for me to change. i might find someone who understands me and will give me what i need. difficult topic. if i only knew where my insecurities stem from, maybe i could work on it… it can’t be that i need validation because even if i get it, i don’t stop. i think that i have trust issues. after all if you believe someone doesn’t love you, no matter how much “proof” there is, you still won’t believe it. so now i’m trying to  change my mind and think that he really cares about me, no matter how much “proof” there is in my eyes that he doesn’t. i still want to beileve in the good. but then the insecurity crawls back, what if i try to trust him completely and i am wrong? what if he’s talking to another girl behind my back? i wish i could get some guidance… like someone telling me what is right and wrong. what to do to have a happy relationship and make this work..