I know what you mean by that. When I’m single I’m the same because I don’t put so much worth on everything a boy I talk to does…and I don’t care cause we’re not in a relationship. But once I get in a relationship, don’t know why, it changes for me. I feel like I need to control him, to make him give me everything that I want, like he’s there only to provide me with all the attention, affection that I want. Now I understand why you want to stay with him, so you can see for real if you have changef or not,cause when you’re single you can’t tell because there aren’t any situations that trigger that kind of behaviour. That was what I was thinking too when I was with him, and it’s true only like that you can surely tell.

Anyway, after my breakup I also realised a lot of things. And I think I’m changed. Again, not 100% (I don’t even want to be … like another person) but I am. After my breakup, I had another short term relationship with someone who couldn’t show any affection to me, didn’t like when I showed affection to him, keeping things from me…(I know he doesn’t have to tell me everything….I didn’t force him anyway…but in a relationship when it’s real you want to tell everything to the other person…anyway I know it wasn’t something ‘real’), he didn’t really talk to me, he was always unsatisfied with what I did…he made me feel so stressed. Anyway, I broke up with him because this was clearly not what I wanted. Now I feel that I want to be single until I find a right person. I’m glad I feel this, because until now I always felt the need to be with someone, to get someone’s attention.

Before havin this short term relationship, I realized that I used boys to make me feel good about myself because I lacked self-confidence. Like I was always expecting from my bf to make me feel good about myself and tell me exactly what I wanted to hear and be there everytime that I want not caring about what his plans are and not being understanding. This is not healthy and thank God I’m over that phase, I don’t overreact or exaggerate anymore. BUT that doesn’t mean that I have to accept some behaviours that are generally not okay….And I won’t do that because that’s not the point….

I couldn’t totally change while being in a relationship with him, but maybe you can do it.