That old black magic got me in a spell… I relate to that empty feeling of feeling empty. In my case I think coming from the sense of not living my potential. Never putting that potential to the test.

Anyway, my opinion on change is that the only way to “change” the way we feel is to accept the way we feel when we feel it. (Not an acceptance as in a giving up or resignation kind of way but away of experiencing and letting the moment flow to the next.

Most of what you posted centered on fear. F.E.A.R. is almost always False Evidence Appearing Real and you will find that if you honestly evaluate your fears that they are things that never happen. Products of a fixated consciousness that doesn’t takes is eyes off the “evidence”. A step in overcome our fears and fixations it is learning how to direct our consciousness and choose what we pay attention to.

You may also find learning about the role cognitive dissonance/distortions plays in the stories you are living out. It is my opinion that we become the stories we tell ourselves. Or at least they play a very important part in our sense of self.  I think if you look at the stories you are telling yourself that you will find allot of cognitive dissonance. Learning to identify the distortions is a required step to moving forward. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway