Anita,

Your mother gave you a job: to make friends for her. This is probably a big reason why you ruminate so much about friends who may become distant from you, afraid to lose friends you made. You take this job assigned to you by your mother very seriously. Your mother wants you to make up for the lack she experienced before you were born. She is using you to get unmet needs met. You of course needed your mother’s love and approval. What you received from her instead is a … job.

I read this over and over and will print this. Thank you for putting this into words. Wow you are exactly right. Now my questions is. What are some ways I can work on that (the rumination and the very serious over focus on it)?

I