Hello,

So if what she told me was untrue and what she taught me was untrue- then it was a lie. I can say that. And it is a reasonable deduction. But I can not feel it. When I say that to myself I don’t feel sad or angry or confused I feel nothing. I think this is because I am only beginning to see the truth and it will take time for it to sink in and truly un-numb.

So I pretty much studied hard, had dedication, motivation and all efforts in learning and being embedded in things that were untrue.

No wonder it is so overwhelming and difficult to see the truth. Because I spent my whole life training in this “field” (such as medical field) full of discipline and time and energy and respect all for something that is truly for lack of a better term: BS.

So now what?