Hi Poppyxo,

Here is something I noticed: There is a vast age difference between you two. Is it possible that since she met you when you were a teenager she took you under her wing, she was a mentor to you, she didn’t take you seriously? Ten years later you are no longer a kid. Is she having trouble seeing you as a fellow adult woman?

The card thing I would forgive. I’m THE WORST at cards. I can’t do it. Yes, even if I worked in a stationary store.

The bailing on your plans I would put her on task for. The next time that happens say, “Oh, good, just tell me where you all are meeting.” She CAN’T say no, as you already cleared YOUR busy schedule sometimes weeks in advance for HER. It will be awkward. Let it be awkward. 

Lastly, she is a parent of a very small child. You are not first, you are not second, you aren’t even in the top ten of her priorities. I am not active friends with anyone with small children. Unless you are offering to bring the family pizza and babysit, it is a BURDEN to see you. She needs a babysitter, a free moment, money, and energy. She may not have it. If you get pregnant tomorrow, maybe you can bond with her via playdates. I’ve had three kids. It’s just the reality.

Best,

Inky