Dear Laurie – I totally understand your pain. I know your feelings of betrayal and feeling used. I’ve been there too. I do not know why people do this, although the longer I get from my own experience with this, the more I realize that I will never get answers beyond the fact that some people are jerks with no remorse or regard for anyone but themselves. That is a harsh truth.

You start by saying “against my better judgement”. I feel that your intuition was warning you of something in the beginning that you chose to not listen to. It might be worth it to revisit this and review the red flags you saw there. Sometimes we need direction beyond our heart.

You have been very generous with him and I feel that has to stop. Get him OFF your bank account. The other money you loaned him may be a wash but you need to ensure he has no access to other funds. I would also avoid emailing him. You have sent him a message and placed the ball in his court. Let him initiate. In the meantime, I know it’s going to hurt for awhile. Its been over a year for me and I still question the truth surrounding one of my relationships. I just let it be. I let my mind wander but I also try to engage it with new stimuli. This will take awhile but keep that focus on yourself.