SOO there’s this guy and he has expressed interest in me and we have hung out a few times. We have kissed and held hands but  during these times that we’ve been affectionate I was drunk!!!!! We are in college and we usually hung out with other people around and we would all drink. When im sober I feel so immensely anxious around him. He intimidates me so much, hes a little older, very extroverted, very experienced. And he really does not care about what anyone thinks…AT ALL!! And because he is the way that he is, I am attracted yet put off by him. I am so quiet and awkward around him and hes even called me weird. Its summer now and Im back at home and hes at the university.

We were messaging one day and he basically said to let him know what I want to do and that the ball was in my court. And I genuinely do not know what I want or what I want to do. That was about a week ago and I have not replied. I feel at ease being single but another part of me wants to give it a shot. But Just the thought of being around his older friends and supporting his musical ambitions makes me anxious ( i feel like i wouldn’t be a good enough supporter). I feel like I would have to measure to all the women his age and I feel inadequate. I also feel as though at this point if I decided to message him back and told him I was interested in dating he would not respond positively because I waited so long to reply and have been intentionally giving mixed signals.

Another thing is I really just wanted to work on self love and personal growth this summer.

advice?? insights?? thoughts??