IIt just seems that it is PTSD, he’s never acted tthis way and I really am struggling with it. He’s always been controlling, has no patience and could be a little abrupt at times, but not like this, this is something entirely different! He is so so distant, he used to be so sweet and kind and would always say i miss you, would always say i love you, would make sure I was ok and would call me as much as he could. Now there’s absolutely nothing, we struggling to have a conversation on the phone, he’s always in a rush to be doing other things, if its anything serious we have to talk about then that is a definite no go area. I’ve been sending him links for houses that he could be interested I’ve said to him could you please let me know which ones you like . .It’s been a week and I’ve heard nothing from him in regards to any house. I’m too scared to bring things up incase the reaction he will have. I am so tired I feel so pathetic, I feel like I’m begging him to love me! I went and bought him some gifts online to cheer him up and got them delivered to the house, he said thank you and seemed so hapoy with them and that was it 5 mins of joy. Then it was the same again when we went to say good night..we couldn’t speak, he was tired. This morning I was very busy at work and had managed to send at least one message. Usually hed send me lovely messages, his message today was about him cooking breakfast, and that he is making a coffee and etc.. that was all. Nothing else ..and I am just so fed up of giving his behaviour excuses all the damn time! And I just lost it.. I really don’t think i can do this anymore  I stuck by him for 5 months went and fought through depression on my own and I was getting better actually no I got better ! Since he left my home town .. it’s been hell, have had suicidal thoughts nearly every night now and I don’t know how to cope anymore I really don’t, I’ve literallt just sent a message asking to leave me alone for now and that his behaviour is killing us!

I don’t deserve this ..what have I done to him to deserve it .. 🙁 please help me someone

Dear Anita

He lied about seeking help, i know now he will never seek help . Everyone has told him too, including his mother whom he respects very much, even though they dont speak often. He wont listen, he has however said he knows he has issues but he doesnt believe seeking help will do him any good, no matter what we tell him he just wont go. I went to therapy and i got much better,  i bettered myself massively but depression is creeping back again. I am asking him to just talk it through, thats all we need, i need to know what he is feeling and why he is feeling this way, i cant think of anything  of else to have triggered him to be this way apart from his deployment.  If we communicate maybe that way we can see what and how we are both feeling and what needs to be done, but whenever i even mention the notion to talk he gets angry and ignores me. I really dont know what to do and how to handle it anymore.

Dear Anita

Its been 4 months now that i overcame depression, only now has depression begun to creep in and out.

Blessings

Dear Anita

I dont know anymore, i dont think theres much more to be done. He will never change and i have a strange  addiction to this man, and i dont know why. I think it stems very very deep as to why i cant let go of someone whos obviously not good for me