Dear Anita,

I am glad to have an insightful, compassionate and inspirational person like you in my life. Your encouraging advice helps boost my confidence and make me feel closer to living my best self. I have begun to dedicate two days of the week in which I do nothing at all, but just take time to myself and relax. I go out in nature, read a book, do yoga or meditate. These days are mostly Wednesdays and Sundays. I have started to work on applying for job applications, one every two weeks as to not overwhelm myself. My inner critic thinks that I should be learning new things every day and every hour, but I don’t want to overextend myself. I agree that disengaging from the negative voices is the best. I am working on grounding and shielding myself from the negative energy when my parents argue. They try to involve me into their affairs, but I don’t want to be part of them because many of their fights aren’t really worth the strain on my energy. At times I feel like I am being selfish because family is the basic foundation of every childhood and it feels like I’m abandoning my family when I disengage from them. I believe this is my inner critic from my parents saying I should play a more active role for the family and learn more real life skills. I am learning the information for my genetic engineering career, acquiring transgender resources and looking for job opportunities. It is a lot of resources all at once and at times I need a break. With my parents, they think that I’m either not focusing enough time on my education, learning life skills or making irresponsible decisions. My parents are not accepting of my gender expression and it is hard being with them. The main questions are: “How do I know what’s important for me to learn to help me in the world?” “How do I stop suppressing the negativity in me and gain the courage to release it?” “When certain events trigger a stress reaction or my inner critic, how do I calm myself down and regain my focus?” “How do I tell others that I need time for myself throughout the week and if I don’t get back to them in two weeks (longest that I haven’t replied to urgent demands) that i’m not ignoring them or being selfish?” “How do I know that I’m putting my needs first and being true to myself and not being dragged into the aspirations/problems/expectations of others?”