Hello Yooyoo,

Anita’s recommendation to “fake it til you make it” is spot on.  I use this method often.

The fact that you recognize that you are uptight is one thing.  Is this something others comment on as well?

I think you can be accountable and responsible and be chill too.  For me, it starts with recognizing where my responsibility in any situation begins and ends.  As far as work goes, is there a manager for the project who is supposed to be keeping the group on track, and focused?  If there isn’t, could you be the director of the group?  Would having control in the situation give you a greater sense of peace, or would it add to your irritability?

If I am in a personal situation, or even work for that matter, and something is not being achieved or a goal is not being reached, I first look inward.  Is it something I am or am not doing.  What can I change to make this goal happen. Then I look at the group – is there a broken link somehwere that needs to be addressed? Is the break in one individual, or is it in the group as a whole.  I also consider the goal – is it attainable?  Is it something that can realistically be achieved given the resources available? If not, can the goal be redefined, or does it need to be abandoned and replaced with a more realistic goal?

Airene