Hi everyone, I need some advice here.

I am dealing with a highly toxic “future” sister-in-law. My man and I are not engaged or married as of now, but we plan to. She is literally the most poisonous, toxic, selfish, demanding, attention-seeking, demeaning person I’ve ever met. I have never done a single thing to this person let me point out. A bit of a background, she has an issue with almost every person in her life minus her husband and her parents. Every single other person she has encountered she has created drama from. My man even warned me about her when we first began dating to be cautious near her because she loves to create drama for no reason, she can be mean with her words, demanding, selfish and flat out rude. Turns out he is even more true than I ever imagined.

When I first met her, she was fine with me. Not too personal or friendly but at least neutral, “hi how are you, etc” …that type of talk. Then near the end of last year, she came to my man and I to discuss her bad behavior toward us lately. And how she had been cruel, ignoring us when we went over to her place, avoided any eye-contact, and flat out being rude with her comments. She admitted to that, which was nice. But nothing changed since, it actually got worse. She treats my man and I horribly when we go see her and her husband (my mans brother). We both feel very un-welcomed when we go there, but we go to remain neutral with the family and I go so my man can continue seeing his brother and his nephew. But it’s getting harder and harder to go. She is very passive agressive specifially with me. She told me when she came over last year, to my face, she told me “I do not like you because I do not know what kind of things you hear about me from Craig (my man’s) parents.” (More of a back story, she has issues with her husbands parents because they and her family had a dramatic background involving a lot of lying on her part- more passive agressiveness that got out of control one time in the past before i was around) so she does not know what they and Craig tell me about her. So she flat out told me she does not like me because she does not know what I know about her. Pretty pathetic reason. She also told both Craig and I, “I am going to continue treating you both this way, because I dont know what you both know about me”. So she has then admitted to continuing to treat us badly for no good reason. We both have NEVER done a single thing purposly or intentionally to hurt her. Yet she has put the breaks on and demands we see her as a victim. She has low self-esteem obviously.

So anyways, recently someone in her family passed away. I, being aware that she does not care for me, still gave my condolences a few days after the passing as I had planned to do just to keep the peace. So, she replies to me in a huge rant about how inconsiderate it was of me to wait a day to give my condolences to her. Then she went on about how I do not treat her well after she came by that day last year and how rude I am. It was about 5 paragraphs of what a shitty person I am. When really, I did nothing wrong to her. I simply waited a few days to give my condolences. She could have just said thank you and moved along but she decided to start a fight and tried to make me feel bad. Which she didnt.

So my question is, because I cannot completely ignore her or make her dissapear from my life, how do you handle a super intense, passive agressive, rude, selfish person like her…for the rest of my life? What can I do to NOT let her get to me or get under my skin?

Any suggestions would help…

Thanks everyone,