Hello, new to the site found it googling around maybe I can get some advice here.

Im 40 years old and I have have a wonderful 3 hear old boy. Problem is I absoulty hate his mother. And I mean it, I know it’s not good. I knocked up a stripper, 15 years younger than me and it didn’t work out imagine that lol. That’s not where the hate is though. In full disclosure I did try to make it work I was miserable and at times I was verbally abusive. But still I didn’t hate.

The hate happened instantly one day when I woke up and found her unresponsive in front of our son. She tried to take her life by OD’ing in his presence. I instantly hated her and also called 911 and thus saved her life. She was on a ventilator for 3 days then baker acted. When she got out i told her she’s not welcome here anymore. She showed up anyway with what I believe was a plan to get me thrown in jail. It took, hours but it worked after hours of her smashing everything i own soliciting herself for bdsm sex from my house then tryimg to steal my car i lost it. I went to throw her laptop in the shower she jumped on my back and I pushed her in the tub. I turned off the water and tried to help her out. She had what she needed, she called the police i didn’t stop her then I went to jail. I got banned from my house for 90 days judge said she keeps the baby. Long story short she was hooking out of my house on our son was in a meth trailer completely neglected no food or water and coughing from exposure to smoke. Cps removed him from tjere and gave him to me. Over the next 2 months she was banging my neighbor and continued hooking out of my house while the baby and I stayed in a hotel room. When I moved back in ALL of my belongings were gone my motorcycle was totalled with a hammer and wires cut with pliers. Buckets of paint thrown everywhere floors walls grills porches everywhere. Also found several needles one under the sink and one just on tje porch. She threw flour under my cupboards to attract rats and it worked lots of them. I lost my job because I just couldn’t maintain sanity. She disappeared for months then just shows up at my mother’s house demanding the baby. That didn’t work So she disappeared for months then tried to break in my back door and take him. That didn’t work. She’s now trespassed from my house and my mother’s house. She disappeared for almost a year and now has popped back up saying she’s clean has an apartment and a good job, not on her knees for a change. Well… She works at a tattoo shop and won’t take a drug test. I’ve got thousands into fighting this domestic charge and replacing my stuff. She’s demanding overnight visits and threating court if I don’t comply. I know I’m not gonna get the answer to everything and serioisly this is a super condensed version of events there’s alot more to it. I’m scared as hell she’s gonna get overnights and frankly she’s a scum bag and has scum bag friends. She has nothing positive to offer and has had a tremendous negative impact. How do I not hate this person?

Her documented history of drug abuse and mental instability goes back to when she was 12 years old she’s now 25 and has been arrested around 10 times for drug related charges and theft. Shes a known prostitute.  I’ve been arrested twice once 10 years ago dui and once 3 years ago DV.