Heartbroken Man,

I am sorry for such a heart break.  Buddhism talks about being attached causes suffering (see the Four Noble Truths).  You are experiencing this attachment pain.  Buddhism has a “prescription” on how to deal with this universal cause of suffering.  There are plenty of resources to learn more.

When you are able, I suggest you look at your role in this breakup.  Examine what things you can and want to change for yourself and for the next partner.  You said you did “a lot of things wrong” in that relationship.  Write them down.  What things were because of you and what things were because you two are not a match.

What is the reason why she did not trust you?  Did you lie?  Were you not authentic, i.e. saying things that are out of alignment of who you are and what  you believed in?  Did you not keep your agreements?  Why do you think people think that this relationship was unhealthy for her?

Those are places to examine for yourself.  You need to start with yourself first in order to have any sort of healthy relationship

You can look at this as an opportunity.  This woman is giving you a gift.  You can examine yourself and become more self aware.  You can learn from this.

Mark