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Hi David,
This may come as a shock, but if she’s as strong and independent as you claim, she might turn down that coffee with you. Forget about getting back together. I don’t think you can have her back simply because you feel you could have made a mistake.
From her perspective perhaps: She rarely lost it, and when she did, you couldn’t handle it. A lot of women are thus labelled “crazy” this way. Maybe she was trying to be perfect herself and ultimately blew up at an embarrassing level. You then broke up with her, so now she could be going around saying that she couldn’t be her real self around YOU! Who knows?
Of course no one else compares. She was a strong personality. It sounds like she needs another strong personality to be with her long term.
Sorry my insights were a bit harsh, but there it is,
Inky