Dear Ladybug:

His mother is bad (old and new) news for him and for you. I hope you do not in any way encourage him to reach out to her, to communicate with her, to get closer to her. Better that he has nothing to do with her.

He doesn’t have much that is consistent and reliable in his life. His mother isn’t. His career and income aren’t. But he has one thing that is reliable, one person who is dependable, and that is you.

If he fails to understand the value of having a person in his life who is reliable, if he fails to grasp how rare it is to have a dependable, consistently loving person in his life- if he, let’s say, gets focused now  on finding that person in his father (not likely to succeed0, then he is going to miss this great opportunity.

I don’t think he understands that it is not that he needs to fix himself and his life first and then commit to you, but that committing to you is his greatest resource. Unfortunately, people too often discard their greatest resource as they pursue that which will get them nowhere.

anita