To continue… see Anita I thought that in time I could do it all, give myself some time solo to heal and then get back into being super human and heal at the same time. Well that’s not possible. So I thought I tone it back some and not be superhuman but do maybe half as much. And then continue to heal. Well you know what that’s too much too. Maybe I don’t have to do any of it. The answer is in order to fully heal and put all of my power energy towards it, that is my sole 100% priority. It is as though you only have one job in this life and that is it. So be it. This is my job. I choose it. Well this is how I have to think about it. In order to do a fantastic job at it, I have to remind myself it is my sole  and only job at this moment. Just like a childs job when they are born is to only eat and grow. That’s it. Starting from the basics I am learning and growing so I must nourish myself completely. I cannot afford to give any ounce of this to anyone else or anything else. I have full control and how I foster my energy, I give myself permission to do so.  It is now or never. I see the beginning of growth now. And for it to continue I will value and protect me above all. And then this may also translate into valuing my marriage above all. Something I have never ever done.