Dear anita,

wow, that is one very specific trigger! I am sorry that you have such a mother, but I am glad you are doing so much better and that you share all that you learned with people in this forum. This forum is such a beacon for people because of people like you. I don’t know any other forum where I could have shared this problem with others and feel understood.

For me I think the fear and negative thoughts come from within. Yes, in a way the fear originated from my parents, they ingrained certain beliefs in me not because they are vicious but I think because they didn’t know any better. Nowadays I see that more clearly and I recognize when they act a certain way. So they are still a trigger of anger sometimes, but I can (often) seperate myself from that because I know they are not out to attack me or put me down (like your mother probably did, right?) . So going no contact in this case wouldn’t help, I would rather have to go on no contact from myself somehow if that were possible.