Your story especially as it relates to the self-help movement propensity to focus one-sidedly on the positive reminds me of the story heard of a sparrow trapped in an empty grain silo.

There was enough grain and water to survive but the sparrow was stuck and wanted out. Each morning the sparrow would look up and see light shining though various cracks in the silo. Frantically the sparrow would fly towards some light coming through the crack hoping to find a way out, however they where never big enough for the sparrow to find freedom. Flying from one light to the next, at the end of the day the sparrow lay exhausted and frustrated on the floor of the silo.  One morning instead of look up the sparrow looked down and noticed air coming through a hole in the floor. Though afraid as it was very dark, the sparrow entering the hole which required going down a ways but at the bottom the tunnel started going upwards until the sparrow from itself free of the silo and out in the open air.

This has matched my experience.

The movement to improve oneself is great however its important to remember that sure it’s the tree branches and leaves that reach upwards to the light that reveals its beauty, but it is its roots that drive deep into the darkness that also bring in nutrients but more importantly stability, especially in times of bad weather.

Just one thing about the experience of purpose. I am convinced that the experience of purpose is about what you do but being seen. It is when we are ’seen’ by others and or by ourselves that we experience purpose and meaning. After a divorce it would be natural to feel that we are not seen and so feel life as lacking purpose and meaning. So in my opinion Purpose isn’t about looking upwards but downward, looking first to see ourselves and then open up to allow others to see us.

Sometimes the way out isn’t up but down.