Dear noname:

April 25, 2017, you wrote: “I have talked with my parents about our family dynamic growing up, and they both acknowledged that they may have put too much pressure on me as a child and neglected my emotional health in various ways. I forgave them and I feel they are doing the best they could”.

What you wrote April 25 make it seem like the issue with your parents has been resolved: you talked with them about “dynamics” (an academic term), they acknowledged, and you forgave. Issue solved and resolved in a nice, neat and tidy resolution package.

But not so. On that same day, April 25, you continued: “sometimes I do find myself not wanting to open up to my mom because she tends to start to tell me about her problems”-

see, the “dynamics” continue in the present, then and still, from your posting not long ago. Thing is you are numb to these dynamics. But these dynamics keep alive that despair right under the surface of your awareness, and they keep fueling your relationship dysfunction.

This is what you wrote  March 16, 2017 (all your words only I am deleting some in between words): “Growing up my mom was very depressed. trying to keep my mom happy was a very exhausting task. women tends to trigger my ‘scared little boy’ tactics to obtain love and safety”.

You are still this “scared little boy”. You are also an angry little boy.

What can I say further, noname? You keep paying the heavy price of remaining removed from awareness.

anita