I would try not to be hard on yourself. You were single when this happened, correct? So it’s absolutely nothing like what your ex did to you. I also wouldn’t feel guilty about the other person being in a relationship, because, although that’s definitely not a good thing to do when you have your wits about you, it’s ultimately up to the person in the relationship not to stray, not the person they’re straying with.
Do you think your guilt could actually be coming from your intention for doing it rather than the actual act, that you were intending to hurt someone by doing it? Alcohol and pain can certainly cause us to do things that are out of character, so that may be why you are so disappointed, but the fact is, you definitely can’t go back in time and change it. It’s okay to give yourself permission to forgive yourself and let this one go. From the sounds of it, it’s not something that you would usually do if you weren’t influenced by both alcohol and pain, so just accept that that caused you to act out of character and then just stay away from alcohol until you’re feeling much better.
I’ve done things in the past under the influence of alcohol combined with pain that I regretted for a while after, but you do get over it. You can literally grow from ANYTHING and become a better person if you take the lesson from it, make a change for the better, and forgive yourself. 🙂
What do you suppose makes you feel dependent on alcohol? or what makes you want to drink? For example, is it just because you like the loosened-up feeling or does it make you forget things or is it more of a social thing?
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