I went for the walk, 4km, I spent every step thinking of him of course, but at least i got exercise and fresh air.

I think there are a large amount of similarities in our exes! I feel the same, I’m barely getting by and it takes a monumental effort to feel half normal every day and he is getting on fine (I’m guessing) and I know him and know he would only be worried if I was not doing ok and would be delighted for me if I moved on with my life. Maybe ‘cos it lets him off the hook and depletes some of his guilt, I dunno.

Thats good planning re:the nap. Try and get as much of a decent sleep tonight as possible. I’m going to do some meditation now while I wait for dinner to cook. Talk about boring!

Having read another blog I have written some things in the notes section of my phone. The first three things are simple enough to remember without having to check phone. ‘I love myself’. ‘I want to be happy’. ‘Fu*k him’. I’ve been repeating these to myself the past couple of days. I don’t know if they help but the blogger suggested them as helping her so I’m going to continue and see how I get on.

You have your first counselling session tomorrow right? I hope you find it ok and feel comfortable at it. You’re doing all the right things.