I know after she left me, i went down hill so hard and spiraled out of control in a very bad way.  I think what may have been one of my last opportunities to have another shot or fix anything that was done, i did just the opposite of what i should have.  I kept talking to her best friend, kept bugging my ex, then i got back on dating sites almost instantly.  It was like i didn’t know how to be alone anymore and i needed a fix.  Some attention of some kind.  What’s funny is that it did work for a minute.  When ever i would start messaging other woman, sometimes 3 or 4 at the same time, it would take my mind off of my ex.  But as soon as I stopped and had no attention.  I would think about her and miss her, ect, ect, ect…  Again.  I feel like a child.  It’s stupid crazy.  Like I forgot how to be alone,  how to live on my own without the need for that.

I don’t have time to respond to much right at the moment, but I did want to respond to this.  Your reaction to your break up was a very, very common and normal one. It’s actually unusual when people who feel blindsided with a breakup handle it well without spiraling or seeking comfort elsewhere at least for a little bit.  Don’t beat yourself up over this, please. This is something you need to forgive yourself for. And reacting in the opposite way likely would have changed absolutely nothing because she’d already made her decision.  I DID react in the opposite way. I stayed calm, left him alone for the most part (always cordial the few times we did talk), I stayed single even though I had a ton of guys start messaging me because I knew I wasn’t ready, etc. And guess what? That didn’t make him want me back any more than if I had reacted how you did.  How we react doesn’t matter. They were going to feel the same no matter what because the breakups ultimately weren’t about us. The breakups were about THEM and how THEY were feeling and what THEY wanted or didn’t want, and we have absolutely no control over any of that.  So you really, really need to forgive yourself for your reaction. It likely didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by Valora.