John,

I can most definitely relate. That + being an absolute hopeless romantic and believing that love conquers all and ‘whatever is yours will always find its way back to you’ and ‘this kind of love only comes once in a lifetime’ are only some of the thing’s that keep me in this phase of being unable to let go! It’s so exhausting!

It’s ridiculous that I am almost willing to put aside all of the past hurt, trauma, my wants & needs just to be with this man because having him in my life means more than anything else in the world. Rationally I realise that’s not healthy. As you say, it’s an addiction. But nonetheless, the heart wants what it wants! It’s messed up.