Hi akali,

To me it sounds like you are really hardworking. I’m sure your hard work will pay off at some point. You are still a beginner, nobody makes great art from the start. I’d say just keep working, even if your artwork isn’t good at first. And try to go easy on yourself.

Have you asked your professors about what they think you could improve? Is it that you still need to improve your craft (proportions etc.) or do you have to think about concepts more? Something else?

It also sounds like at this point you only focus on your grades and don’t have any fun at making art anymore. But you really wanted to study this! I’d recommend to try to remember why you love drawing so much. Also draw for your own fun, make it more playful. Maybe read books about your favorite artists, go to art galleries, draw the people you see in the street, try out new colours or materials… Something that excites you. You also wrote that you found good friends at your new college, can you talk to them about this or maybe make art together?

Also, can you sometimes take a break from drawing and working for school? For me it is helpful to go out for a walk or a sportsclass, meet a friend, do something else besides working for school. Then I get to see and experience new things and I get new ideas.

I still struggle myself with anxiety and dealing with stress. So I don’t know if I’m the best person to give advice to others. I just can say that I try my best to take good care of myself: eat nutritious food, get some fresh air, journal, get enough sleep etc… Maybe it could be helpful for you too?