Lala,

I’m sorry for what you went through, and how much it’s still hurting you.

It stinks that HR departments are so generally useless.  At least, from my experience.  My husband was bullied by a bunch of young women at the Kohl’s corporate headquarters (many awful co-workers (mean girls that were lazy workers), supervisors, and an evil HR department that lied and abused him – all contributing to his heart attack and to his mental and physical struggles after surgery).

I know it’s a different situation than yours, but it’s all bullying.  It’s hard to understand those people and why they do what they do, when you are a good and kind and decent person (like my husband and like you).

It’s terrible that a company won’t get rid of a jerk like your manager, and instead makes things worse for you.  It’s the same thing they usually do with sexual harassment.

Since you still have to see that jerk, maybe do something that makes you laugh inside, like picture his head exploding as you walk past him.  Maybe it could divert some of your anger and pain, as you giggle about that image of him.

You’ve done all you can about him, so now just take care of yourself.  Work on anything that helps you feel better – meditation, exercise, being with friends or family, hobbies, accomplishing something outside of work (something you’ve always dreamed of maybe), and things like that.  Work on your inner peace (many helpful articles on this site) and try to let it go, as much as you can.

I hope you can feel better and better as time goes by.

Mimi