John,

As you have found out that you cannot really know someone until you spend in-person time with them.  When I was online dating, my preference is to first see if I can have a short phone conversation with the woman then set up a face-to-face.  If she does not want to do that until she “really gets to know me” then I move on.  That tells me that she is in too much fear and not really ready to date (me at least).  I did not have the patience to chat/text/email for to me, you are ready to date or not.  Dating is the in-person experience of getting to know each other.

Mark