After I decided to part from her in Aug she was is such a terrible pain she didnt go to  work for two weeks. We spoke a lot through that time. We made it back within one month. I made clear what I can and can’t accept in this relationship to stay in it. One amongst a few was: alcohol has to stop to the point you don’t loose memory / sleep without interruption, and the contact with very Peter has to stop.

Over a month ago she told me she met him again, told me about it next day, but didn’t ask me if I was ok for her to do it beforehand as she was sure I won’t happy (she won’t be able to go to businness dinne). She as well got drunk with coworkers to the extent she didnt remember an evening phone conversation with me, her 7 year old daughter helped her throwing up in the night.

I am completely confused, heart broken… I left at the beginning of December. I still rarely ring her to ask how she is, hoping she will give me answers I am looking for. But no, she still denies she did anything wrong.

I am torn, I am feel I love her but logically can’t accept this mess.

Yes, I read it at that time Anita. It actually helped me to understand a bit more what may be happening on the other side.

This could be the case that there is a desire to meet own needs regardless of surrounding tighs. I sense there may be emotional maturity issue since she had let me in between her family and kids, but couldn’t meet some commitments – treat relationship as priority. It just came to my mind… I often asked her to introduce me to her circle but she never did, I always had to do it myself.

I see so many issues now in this relationship, I was able to see chaos around this lady, but neve thought it will affect me too. Words didnt match actions throughout. She tells me how involved she was and all I can see is unresponded phone calls, feeling of being kept at arms distance and lack of empathy from her side.

She did. She drove down to me 100 miles to talk to me (only 2nd time in one year), to soothe my emotions. She cruied a lot and was angry I don’t want to believe her. She was saying she disconnected from him emotionally long time ago (wasn’t involved with him for a year before she started with me). She said she can’t promise she will delete him from hes life as they work in the same undustry and as much as she doesn’t want she may still meet him at fairs and so on. She rejected tho the idea of quitting the job all together or moving down to my city as she isn’t the type who would settle in another place – she says she is an introvert – oh she is not especially after two drinks.

She says I am overreacting, I am jelaus type, this is nothing and this is to do with my unhealed wounds from the past. She basically says she lied but it wasn’t against me as she didn’t cheat or did anything with him on male-female field.

She had a few phonecalls with her sister being upset of what I am saying… but she said to her between the lines …I think he doesn’t like I have a sentimen towards Peter and I lied to him a few times over it… She does understand what she did. She doesn’t agree that to me fully.

Plenty of conversation, mixed signals.

Anita, I had that idea she is pushing me out as time goes by, but what would be contradicotry to it… amount of pain on her side. Calls with sister, she finally made appointment with a therapist (she didnt want to go along with this idea when I was asking as amount of issues rose silently in the background), she again skipped work when I announce breaking news… and so on.

I thought she is fullfilling her own prophecy of her being affraid that “I leave her when I get to know her” and giving reasons to clash to resolve.