Dear Anita,

How is your leg? I hope by this time it is almost entirely healed, however pain in tendons and ligaments can linger over months -small twinges when you move your leg a certain way, are you experiencing this?

I wanted to comment on the following:

we answer her and defend ourselves against her and try to protect and assert ourselves against her.

This appears to me that a lot of “being in my head” is in fact having a conversation with my mother, the devil on the left shoulder, trying to appease her or shoo her away.  Trying to reason with her and say nope, your views are no longer my priority, nor are they congruent with reality.  Saying, intuitively what you are saying doesn’t appear right to me, and  I am working on not getting bogged down by you.

In fact I notice this even when I am not in my “own head.” There are certain individuals I am around, who love to hear their ownselves speak.  Going on and on about their own lives, how stressed they are, how great this is, blah blah, on and on.  No awareness how they come off to others.  NYC is full of these types, the world is full of these types.  They can be compelling, luring us into conversations we don’t have interest in, commenting on topics we are not interested in.  Stroking their ego, or entertaining them.

I notice that just like the mother voice, it is natural when someone is “speaking” to me – that I have to be alert and give them my FULL UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. But this is false, Anita.

It is my CHOICE if I want to give them my attention in this way, it is not a must.  It is not my role or duty.  Often protecting my spirit involves not engaging.  Actually, it usually does. Preserve my energy, not engage constantly.  My full undivided attention can be reserved to myself.