You’re panicking, RJG.

You understand that it’s unhealthy to place heavy expectations on other people hoping for them to validate the fact that you are not unlovable, but that doesn’t mean that you accepted that for yourself. Right now, you’ve placed heavy expectations on this guy that you’ve been to bed with due to the single fact that you went to bed with him. He slept with you so that must mean that he wants to date, right? Nope. All he’s been telling you is that he only wanted physical pleasure. Even now, he’s moved on with his life. But you are using him to torment yourself.

You stalk his Facebook. You think about his non-replies. You think about how he might be a ‘good person’ who didn’t want you. You are making this a personal agenda in that he’s not thinking about you. So that wounded your ego and your pride and now you feel despondent because he is making it clear that he only wanted your body. That hurts. But you’re the one choosing not let go. You are choosing to highlight the fact that he is not thinking of you into a bad thing.

You are over-thinking this, which led to you panicking over the fact that he does not care.

Find a way to calm down. Take deep breaths, take a walk or take your car somewhere. Bake a cake, watch a movie, hike a trail, play loud music and dance to it wildly, stargaze, eat something nice, take a bath, paint, go to a batting cage, do something. But don’t do anything related to that person, not until you have calm down over this situation.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by GL.