Dear Anita, I will do that, I will find one small tangible goal, and stick to that. In fact, you read my mind, I reached out to a small business that is doing something along the lines of what I like, I may go in there and just meet a few people nothing official just yet. Keeping myself humble that this all takes time. Sometimes I see other people that are closer to my age, 35 or so, new doctors, who seem to have already built an empire. This makes me often doubt myself a question myself or put myself down. Of course this is deep rooted and the mother voice as well. Why can’t I do what they do even though I have the talent, maybe I need to figure that out. Anyway, I forgot to add that my husband job here in nyc Is pretty rough. I mention that he has been recently opening up to me more. I have noticed the effect of the stress of his job on him considerably. This combined it with all the trauma he went through with myself and family he is severely approaching burn out. He is not one to complain. But I noticed that this job is quite toxic in the sense that the environment is not very positive, and it is difficult for him to do his job as a good surgeon because the infrastructure and administration is quite an organized and frenzied., As is often, and in big New York City hospitals., He is at a point where he doesn’t really believe it could get better. However I do have some hope that he can find a career path, as in an opportunity and what she doesn’t have to suffer so much. It is a shame because he is such a “qualified surgeon with great talent, but is unable to utilize the skills often because he doesn’t have a great set up     I have talk to him about this more recently, and there are days were he is very frustrated, and days were he is very optimistic and feels that overtime a lot of it will get better. I noticed that this has increased my stress level tremendously. I noticed that I want to do something to help him, and perhaps a lot of the reason why I want to jump on the business bandwagon is so that we can both find an out. Not financially, but more so to have freedom. Perhaps I believe that if at least one of us finds a way to not be controlled by the system will you can have more freedom at least mentally. If that makes sense, I am by no means blaming him for this increased motivation, because as you know this is something I have been wanting to do for a long time, but I think that I am even more frustrated and disgruntled recently. Seeing my husband, talented young physician, Being in a non-ideal environment, and seeing many other people finding such good opportunities. I hope for him that he could find something great like them too, but the negativity and we often takes over feeling that those who have the connections make it – even though we may try and try – he may not find such a situation  so then what? Makes me feel does more and feel frustrated, and so I sometimes find myself thinking that there has to be another way, perhaps I can carve out the path for both of us. I spent a great deal of time looking for opportunities for him, and seeing if there is a market for him to also become more entrepreneurial. However he is so burnt out mentally from the trauma that my parents and family put him through that he doesn’t have much energy in his tank to go that route given that his field is so difficult and his mind is maxed out