Sandy,

The tricky thing about friendships we have implied contracts and expectations of one another.  When the other person does not live up to what we expect them to do or be then we feel hurt, betrayed or disconnected from them.

It seems that you think that relationships should work like a bank.  If you make deposits then you can expect to get back what you put into it equally or even better, with interest.  It sounds like you expect people to put the same amount of care and effort back as you put towards them.  You want fairness and equality.  You did not get this from your friend or others.

Life and relationships are not balance sheets.  You want to be part of their lives and they are moving on.  You want to be a person who your friend shares her personal life with because you do that with her.

There is a saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”  Best to work on letting go of your expectations for, as you are experiencing now, it causes pain and hurt.

I approach living my life as throwing coins into a fountain.  I don’t expect anything back from the love and caring that I give.  If I do then it will be an added bonus.

Mark